#this is why i want to get a list of all the characters

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ me & my husband ]❜

ft. the salesman (gong ji-cheol) x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧ you don’t need your husband to be perfect, you just want him to be honest┊3.3k words

contains: written before s2 came out!! probably ooc or inaccurate, angst with spots of fluff & a bittersweet ending? reader’s pov mostly, suspicions of cheating, lack of communication, mentioned age gap, random inaccurate lore for the salesman

➤ author's note: yeah, i saw the sudden uptick in notes on that gong yoo post i made and realized season 2 came out which i completely forgot about. i intend to watch it soon as possible and write fics for it as well as (probably) add new characters to my writing list, but for now, please be content with this!!

₊˚ʚ 💌₊˚✧ this fic was heavily inspired by “emotionally intoxicated” by aurasaurora!

gong ji-cheol is the poster image for the ideal husband. he’s always been like that from the moment you met him, and you can’t help but feel like you’re the luckiest woman in the world when he calls himself yours. he’s tall and handsome, someone who catches everyone’s eye despite his only being focused on you. he’s wealthy and hard-working, able to call a luxurious mansion your home, and willing to buy you anything your heart desires as long as you ask for it. he spoils you rotten with that money, gifting you expensive things even if you didn’t ask if it reminded him of you. he’s doting, always sure to smother you in affection with kisses and cuddles whenever together to make it known how much he adores you. the sex is great too, he makes you feel wanted and desirable without ever leaving you unsatisfied. 

most importantly though, you love him, and he loves you. the last two years of marriage have been so blissful, and there isn’t a single thing you would change.

at least that’s what you believe most of the time.

you like to think you know a lot about him, and in a way, you do. you know his favorite color, how he likes his coffee, what he usually orders at restaurants, the type of wine he prefers over beer, the exaggerated shocked fasces he likes to make, how his favorite chore is folding the laundry, how his least favorite is doing the dishes because he doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, the name of his childhood pet, what positions he likes to cuddle or fuck in, the names he’s thinking of giving to your child when they are finally born— there are so many little details you know about him, yet at times you feel like you don't know anything at all.

you don’t really know much about his childhood aside from a few random stories, he claims there’s nothing really notable and that it was as standard as can be. you don’t know who his parents were or what they were like because he said they died when he was young, but surely that’s an important loss which must have impacted him and made youth difficult in some way? you don’t know about his past partners if he even had any, but you doubt you were his first as he was yours with a face like his. you don’t know any of his secrets, like an embarrassing moment or something sinful he might have committed in the past. 

he knew all of these things about you and the little details of your life, so why don’t you know any of the most basic things regarding your own husband?

these periods of uncertainty are few and far, but once the icy tendrils of doubt creep in, it’s difficult to shake them off when you realize you only know these things through observations and not him actually telling you. it’s a miracle your stupidity allowed you to make it this far in falling head over heels for him, getting married, and carrying his child (not that you completely regret it, you still love him, but you wish you had given it more time).

they say there are no such things as stupid questions, yet the main question you have is exactly that as it’s something every wife should know even before the marriage. it would be impressive how long you’ve been clueless about this matter if it weren’t for how often and how skilled he is in managing to evade your curiosity and steer the conversation elsewhere. you didn’t want to press on it since he seems to shut it down every time the topic is brought up and you don’t want to fight over something you technically didn’t need to know, but it weighs on you and presses into your chest with the knowledge you were being kept in the dark. 

what did your husband do for a living, exactly?

his schedule is always unpredictably changing with little rhyme or reason and it confuses you. sometimes you’ll go an entire few days without seeing him, sensing him wake up in the morning before the sun is even up, feeling him kiss you on the cheek before getting ready, and not coming back until long after you fall asleep with no communication aside from a note on the table telling you he’ll be gone for the day along with a wad of cash for you to treat yourself while he’s gone. other times he’ll be chilling at home for an entire week, waking you up with aggressive cuddles (or morning sex), making you breakfast with the morning news on in the background, and taking you out to wherever you want to go on his card in his rare casual clothing and messy wavy hair rather than the typical fancy suits and hair styled with gel. 

as far as you’re concerned, he’s a businessman of sorts, although you don’t know what company he works for or what position he has in terms of hierarchy or how an occupation of that type allows such flexibility in hours or anything at all. 

“what if he’s having an affair?”

you paused for a second before continuing the motion of slicing the cheesecake with a fork and savoring the taste in your mouth. “that’s ridiculous,” you stated simply after swallowing. “he loves me very much, and it doesn’t explain his weird schedule either.”

today was spent with some friends you met back in high school, but honestly, you were only attending out of politeness and tradition since you honestly feel like you’ve disconnected from these girls long before the current. still, you treasure the memories shared in your more formative years and wouldn’t ever say no to them if they wanted to hang out like old times. ji-cheol doesn’t bother to hide his distaste for them, calling them a miserable lot who try to drag you down at every opportunity out of jealousy for your happiness. you laugh it off, but you know deep down he’s right and yet you’re still sitting here at the cafe with them with bright smiles like their words don’t cut deep. 

“maybe he’s dating the boss— a sexy office siren type— she gives him plenty of days off and he stays with her at her beach house at jeju island or something to keep her company, and then she gives him lots of money in exchange.”

“oh my god, could you imagine?”

“can you be realistic? it sounds like you’re just writing a plot for a new drama,” you giggled, not allowing the feeling of a twisting blade in your abdomen to show on your face or the venom to drip from your words at the mere thought of the man you loved being stolen away a faceless woman who was everything you wished you were more of: more beautiful, more wealthy, more experienced, more intelligent—

“you don’t know because he’s your first love or whatever— and you’re so lucky to have been able to marry him— but men are dogs, and i don’t see why he would be the exception.”

“but he treats me so well—”

“maybe he only treats you well because you’re pregnant— he probably just feels guilty. i mean, when i was pregnant and had my first, my husband wasn’t attracted to me anymore and demanded a divorce unless i lost the baby weight.” she shrugged like it was so simple, so common, like the notion of marriage wasn’t something so deeply important and could be thrown away so easily.

“we aren’t suggesting you get a divorce, but we’re just saying you should keep an eye on him— you know? a handsome guy like him was always bound to get a lot of attention…” her laugh was shrill and high-pitched, making goosebumps erupt on your skin.

“right… thanks guys…”

that night, you couldn’t stop twisting and turning on the large sectional couch with thoughts rushing through your head of your husband with some other woman. the jealousy from these fictional scenarios without evidence of existence plagued you. it made you want to vomit up the negative feelings and go back to the person you were a few hours ago without the images of him cheating planted in your mind, which didn’t go unnoticed by him and caused him to ask what was bothering you as it wouldn't be good for the baby.

you hesitated for a moment, “could you tell me about your exes?”

“why are you suddenly curious about that?” he chuckled, knowing damn well that it was because of those stupid snakes masquerading as people (it truly takes one to know one) running their mouths again, but still feigning obliviousness for your sake. 

“just wondering,” you muttered. “i mean, you’re the first person i’ve fallen in love with, but you’re a bit older than me so…”

“and i hope to be the only one too,” he smirked confidently, making you laugh as he plopped down on the ground and rested his head on the cushion next to yours. 

it was such a casual setting in such a vast space, bringing you back to the days in your little apartment inviting him over for chicken and beer before you knew about your immense wealth and got embarrassed over your cheap dates when he was so used to expensive restaurants. he found it very endearing though, knowing you liked him for him and not his money.

“well, if you’re so curious…” he trailed off, but you weren’t quite sure if it was because of hesitation or because he simply didn’t know where to start. you can’t remember the last time a conversation like this was held to learn more about him since it was usually about you, maybe back when you first started dating and briefly discussed his late parents.

he started with his crush when he was in middle school since that was his earliest recollection of feeling love, who didn’t really count as a girlfriend or love because nothing was established and because of their age, but she was his first kiss that he ran away from right after because of how nervous he was, and it was never addressed again. apparently it was his second girlfriend who taught him everything he knew before he met you, saying she basically “trained him like a dog” to create a gentleman out of an inexperienced boy who still wasn’t quite sure how to treat a woman like a queen. she was a bit mean though, and he didn’t realize he dodged a bullet until later after realizing she was unnecessarily cruel to him for no reason multiple times if he didn’t do things exactly her way.

you suppose you always knew your husband wasn’t always the suave charmer you know him to be, but the image of younger him being clueless on matters of romance made you burst out laughing because of how you could hardly picture it.

he reached over to pinch your cheek affectionately, “are you of all people really making fun of me when you were too scared to hold my hand for me to escort you out of my car?”

“oh my god, that was on our first date, i can’t be blamed! i was shaking like crazy on that day— you had to tell me that you didn’t bite.”

“i was actually thinking about calling off our date last minute because of an emergency at work,” he confessed, “but i’m glad i didn’t and met the love of my life instead.”

“aw, you flirt.” the memory made you smile and feel all giggly inside, all the fears you had about him possibly having an affair falling away, yet there were still some lingering at the back of your mind with the mention of his job. “what happened at work?”

“nothing that important,” he said instantly like clockwork. “just some boring business things.”

you didn’t push it, not wanting to ruin the mood, but once again, your curiosity was just itching to ask more questions about his work life even if it was truly as boring as he says. you wanted to know every mundane detail whether it was what his office looked like or what the annoying co-worker did on a daily basis, anything to satiate your need to know more about this mysterious man you had made life-long vows with.

it all came to a head one night while you were cooking dinner, you heard the doorbell ring a dozen times in quick succession and answered it to find an older man with fiery red hair that seemed to match his temper. when he addressed your husband by name and verified your relationship with him, he began spewing all kinds of insults about the blood he had on his hands by luring innocent people to their deaths and you felt your heart drop. you tried to reason with him that there must have been some sort of mistake, barely able to get your words out in a fit of confusion and surprise at the absurd accusation, but he wouldn’t hear you out and pointed a finger in your face, asking if you had any idea what gong ji-cheol was doing behind your back. 

at that very moment, he was suddenly seized by two anonymous men in all black, causing him to yell out in panic as they dragged him away and stuffed him in the back of a car before quickly driving off into the night without a trace. it all happened so fast, you just stood there with your mouth open in shock, wondering if you should call the police on what looked like an abduction. 

then your husband comes running up the steps with his locked briefcase in hand, shouting out your name, asking you if you’re okay, pulling you back inside the comfort of your shared home, and checking you all over to make sure you aren’t harmed in any way. when you ask about who that man was and what he was talking about, he simply told you he was some crazy customer who was dissatisfied with the company, was looking for someone to blame, and promised to tell you the details later. 

you didn’t tell him that you didn’t believe him, just pursed your lips and furrowed your brow for a second then let go of the topic like you always do, taking his coat off his shoulders with a peck on the lips asking how his day was. he reciprocated the kiss, said it was fine without anything special, and that he would shower before having dinner, something he didn’t really need to say since you already knew but stated anyway as per evening routine. 

as he headed up the stairs and disappeared from sight, you stared at the locked briefcase resting crookedly on the little entryway table and paused for a moment. if you did this, it would be a breach of privacy and a sign of growing distrust in your husband, but it could also answer all of the questions that never cease. 

your hands wouldn’t stop shaking involuntarily as you felt the cold black metal underneath your fingertips, marveling at the smooth material clean of any scratches or dents. fidgeting with the built-in combination lock, six number sequences started rushing through your mind as you started to hastily run through your options with a focus on dates. you were determined to only do this three times since you had no idea if an alarm would be set off or if it would close off permanently.

his birthday?

an electronic beep went off indicating you were incorrect, making you nervous.

your birthday?

wrong again, you only had one attempt left. you swallowed, shaking the accumulating sweat off your hands.

the date of your wedding?

you gasped as the locks suddenly flipped open and lightly knocked against the briefcase. it was undone, you could open it at any moment now and see it all.

and yet you still hesitated during this golden opportunity. was it the fact that the passcode to his most secret possession was the day you got married? was it guilt for going behind your husband’s back for answers instead of directly asking him? was it because you were afraid of what you would find if you discovered the red-haired man was telling the truth?

whatever it was, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and locked it again, leaving it looking untouched and went back to playing dinner.

there was a heavy tension present at the dinner table that night, the only conversation present being him interrogating you about what the red-haired man talked about word-for-word. not really interrogating since his tone of voice was still calm and gentle as he asked questions, but you could see him fidgeting with his fork and not leaving much room for any other topic until he was sure you told him everything. he then sighed and claimed the man was insane, a gambling addict who was too deep in debt to afford treatment and was trying to drag him into his misery after meeting at the subway station. 

“ji-cheol?”

he froze for a second, not used to hearing you use his real name rather than a pet name. “yes?”

“what do you do for a living, exactly?”

a pause, you watched him fidget with his chopsticks and shift the grains of rice around. “you know, business stuff— nothing you need to concern yourself about—“

“but i don’t know! that’s the thing!” you felt tears starting to well up behind your eyes, letting two years of frustration trickle through. “i know it doesn’t seem that important for me to know, but is it really so important that you leave me in the dark about it for the three years we’ve been lovers? and now some guy comes to our doorstep and tells me about how your job is playing games with people at the subway station to make them participate in death games?!” you took a deep breath, calming yourself down, “please, be honest with me, that’s all i want…”

“i-i…” that was the first time you’ve ever heard him stutter, and if the situation wasn’t so tense, you would be proud you finally got one-up on him. “i can’t say… it’s for your own safety and mine.”

“so he was right?”

he remained silent, trying to think of some way to counter what seong gi-hun had told you, but if you didn’t believe the elaborate lie he already told you and wanted to learn more, then he knew this was the end of the road. 

“i-i need some time to think…” you looked defeated and it broke his heart. “i’m going to my mom’s house tonight, i’ll be back tomorrow—“ you got up, not bothering to pack anything aside from your phone and your wallet.

he had prepared for you to start screaming and crying (not that he would blame you, i mean, who would willingly stay with a man who was complicit in mass murder), demanding a divorce and packing your things to shut the door for him never to be seen again with your unborn child. the strangely calm reaction was both a relief and extremely unsettling to him.

“i won’t be mad if you decide not to come back” he stated plainly, defeated in a state you’ve never seen him in before. “whatever choice you make, i’ll support you, just know i love you— more than anything else in this world.”

you stared at him blankly through the open doorway. perhaps your husband isn’t the perfect man you believed him to be, but he was as honest as he possibly could have been with you regarding the matter, and that’s enough. 

“i love you too, i’ll be back in the morning.” that’s how you feel at the moment, but you don’t know if you’ll feel the same way tomorrow morning when it sinks in.

[sparks-and-smoke]

Hello! Could I get a fic about Bucky accidentally finding the reader’s Christmas gifts to him? Maybe he tries (and fails) to act surprised?

Thank you (ps I know it’s after Christmas, sue me)

Aww~ I don't care that it's too late for the holidays. It's cute! Merry Christmas (belated)

Characters/Pairings: Bucky x reader (code name honey)

Content/Warnings: none it’s just goofy holiday fluff

Author Note: merry late Christmas, this may or may not be loosely based in the Fate Stone AU I have brewing. (which since you are my beta reader ;) you already know about it.)

You are a notoriously bad gift giver, Bucky had been warned many times. He didn’t really care. As long as it came from the heart it couldn’t possibly be that bad. He could put up with socks or a cheesy mug as long as it came from you. But this was worse, so much worse. 

“Sam, I don't even know what to do with it.” Bucky rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands, confiding in the only other person he knew that wouldn’t immediately tell Honey. “Can I be honest here, it’s hideous.”

Sam was keeping a pretty good poker face over his mug poker but the situation was undeniably funny. “It can’t possibly be that bad.” But Bucky’s mortified face said it all. “Why were you spying on her gift away?”

“I didn’t mean too! Necessarily. She hid it in the bottom of the closet, man. She didn’t even hide it well... I’m a spy, I notice things. Plus it was pretty hard to miss.” The blanket had been tucked away in the back of the walk-in closet under a few other things. But the obnoxious colors of the corner peeking out from under the folded jeans had caught his eyes. They didn’t own anything in orange. Anything.  

His honey had gotten him a blanket, which would normally have been so very sweet seeing how Bucky hated being cold, but it wasn’t just a blanket. It was one of those viral blankets, the ones that are loosely based on 70’s rock band merch with lighting and thunder clouds rolling in the background. It’s featured pictures of Alpine, every goofy spastic picture of the cat that his girl could find with her name in the boldest font Bucky had ever seen. Honestly it hurt his eyes, and as Bucky went about describing it to Sam the other man damn near fell out of his chair. 

“That is perfect. No really I think she might be a genius. I’m gonna need a video of you opening that one.” Sam goaded.

“You're not helping.” Bucky growls, guilt twisting in his guts like a worm, but Sam was too busy laughing to try and give a shit. “How am I gonna act surprised now? Let alone be excited?”

“I don’t dude, I guess you need to start taking an acting class.” Sam wiped the tears from his eyes.

~~~~

Bucky watched with crinkled eyes as you opened your gifts from him. A nice wool winter coat because all you owned was a puffer, and while it was adorable on you and always kept you warm you always said you wanted something dressier for date night. And in your stocking an assortment of your favorite treats, skin care you were low on, and that perfume that you had been drooling over since October but always talked yourself out of because of the price tag. Bucky had been making a list since your birthday, keeping tabs on what you lingered on in stores and what you sighed at as you scrolled. He knew his girl and he knew her well. And the way you lit up with every item told him he hit it out of the park. 

“Do you like it Honey?” he asked, his chin propped on his hand. His face couldn’t have been softer or voice more full of love as he watched you glow with joy. 

“I love it. How did you even know what eye cream I use?” 

“It wasn't that hard doll.” Bucky laughed, it sits in a clear box on your vanity of course he knows. 

“Here! Open yours.” You hand him his stocking and the present wrapped in pretty silver paper, looking so excited you may vibrate across the floor. He plastered on his best game face as his stomach did a little flip. Do not ruin this for her Barnes. 

He starts with the stocking. Pulling out body wash and a cologne scented with that smoky bourbon and apple scent you were fond of, along with a small batch roasted coffee and some new gloves. So far so good, and he made sure to kiss you. “I love it honey.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t opened your big one.” you say with a twinkle in your eyes that makes him wanna melt into the floor. Should he tell her, confess he saw it? Risk it and pretend he loves it? 

“You’re right I haven’t.” he corrects himself with a smile picking up the package. It was instantly heavier than he remembered and as he tears open the package he has a brief (very guilty) moment of hoping that maybe he was wrong…

But no there it is. That hideous blanket that he knows instantly from the look on your face he is gonna end up snuggling under for the rest of time just to see you smile the way you are right in this moment. He opened his mouth to tell you thanks as genuinely as he could muster but honey was already biting her bottom lip. A fit of giggles falling out of her. “You already saw it didn’t you!” she managed to get out between chitters. 

“What?! No- I…” 

A pillow from the couch flew at his head. “I knew you would. You little sneak, you do this every year!” Honey chastised as Bucky dodged another swing with the pillow. 

“Hey! Whoa!” Bucky's arms go up in a weak attempt at blocking her little onslaught. “I didn’t mean too!”

“Bullshit James Buchanan!” thump, a hit to his ribs. “You did it on your birthday.” Whack, a bump to the top of his head. “You somehow sniffed out the tickets I bought to Coney Island.” one more swing but this time Bucky caught the pillow, pulling you into his lap with it. 

“I did not do it on purpose!” he defended, but he was beaming. Eyes crinkling in the corner as she glared playfully. “I didn’t!” 

“Yeah, you just somehow stumbled upon the blanket I hid under the laundry in the back of our closet.”

“I was looking for my coat!” 

“On the ground?”

Bucky was caught, because yes he had been looking. He always did. The man couldn’t help it, he always was just too curious. “Yea, I thought so you little rat! Do you like it?” she asks earnestly. And Bucky feels that gnawing feeling again, trying not to let it show on his face. 

“It’s… super fluffy.” he tries to deflect, hating to lie to honey, but her face is already breaking into a grin. What the hell?

“You hate it.” she beams. “It’s hideous huh?”

Bucky frowns, slouching back in his chair. Did she want him to hate it. “Uh, yeah it is..” 

“Good thing it’s not your actual present huh.” 

Bucky's eyes narrow. “You little-” She did this on purpose, hid the most outrageous thing she could find just to punish him for spoiling presents. Clever girl. Weeks of fretting over how he was gonna pull this off and SHE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME. With a giggle honey climbs off his lap and back behind the couch, pulling out a slim package from the cavern behind, and Bucky’s face nearly splits in half. 

“Here. Merry Christmas.” She offers him the parcel with a kiss, sitting in his lap as he unwraps it, and he feels his heart flutter a little. It’s a scrapbook. Full of pictures of him, her, Alpine and their friends. Taken by everyone who has known them the last few years. There isn’t a lot, he doesn’t like taking pictures, preferring to take them. So she must have scoured their friends' phones to find all of these and Bucky can feel tear picking the backs of his eyes. Good tears. 

“Thank you Honey. I love it. I love you…”

[some-ghoul]

I'm gonna ramble for a minute for something that's been eating at me ever since this dropped. I find it wild the amount of flak and hate this video is getting and from chuds who are now going to videos a decade old and saying "they've always been bad/jello fell off".

I should preface saying; I fucking love one piece. It's one of my favorite pieces of media and I have tattoos to show my love for it. I've grown up with this, I've watched the entirety of it and read it to its current release, I've done so for the past 20 years. So I really mean it whenever I say this series is important to me!

This video AIN'T fucking wrong about the points it makes and it's criticisms it has!

Luffy's last heartfelt interaction with a crew member of his was Whole Cake (before that was probably pre-time skip at Sabaody)

Anyone who isn't the big 3 don't get nearly as much screentime whenever things are happening or having a bigger role besides exposition/needs to be rescued

Don't fuckin lie to yourself about women having shit rep in OP

The sexualization of characters is a real fucking issue that so many people have with the series.

The 2 types of women in one piece boob and butt or shaped like a wide bowling pin.

Oda who has multiple times stated, "We could really learn a thing or two from Shojo writers" WHILE REFUSING TO EVEN TOUCH ON WHY PEOPLE WHO ENJOY SHOJO WOULDN'T EVEN GIVE OP A CHANCE

The series is really over-bloated with so many side characters where injuries/death means as little as it would in dragon ball I'm listing more just watch the fucking video

I had an interaction with someone who doesn't even stay up with it, watched the video, and then went, "yea I dunno he was a little mean to Oda I think that's fucked up". Brother, if this was any other random manga author you wouldn't even bat a fuckin eye about the jokes made at them. You just got a take from the comments and decided that's the one you're going with it.

Fuck, then there's the group bringing up the whole dubbing thing and like. I'll just be honest. If you're trying to spin a story to me about someone who got a dream job position, hired to do a show they hated and has pretty queerphobic rep, and instead they say tuck that and do it their way? I dunno man, that's pretty fuckin cool of someone who wouldn't compromise for their morals.

Someone tried saying one of the characters in the cut section was a trans character so it's just virtue signaling more than anything and I'm like, "ok. What pronouns do you use for Yamato then?? You apparently really care about the representation of queer folk so, OBVIOUSLY, we're not gonna have a bad discussion about this yea?"

This isn't even me trying to be like, oh I gotta defend my favoritest widdle guy who I have loved since forever. I'd do this shit on some randy who just dropped this with no other previous content!! Just because someone finally laid it all out there and took shots at the guy who's never really been criticized harshly for the bad stuff in their long running series of 25+ years and the mistakes they've made throughout it doesn't instantly invalidate the genuine issues the series has!

Also the Franky joke is funny! I sure would love more stuff to be done with that character IF ODA DECIDED HE WOULD WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH THE CREW THAT WASN'T JUST FROM THE EAST BLUE!!

The first So This is Basically in many a moon.

CAST & CREW

WRITER/ANIMATOR/NARRATOR - Me! ARTIST - Bo Hello MUSIC - PLASTERBRAIN

MACHVISE - William T. Sopp PRINCE GRUS - John Van Doran MORLEY/CARROT/SHITTEN☆FARTER - Zack Maher DON KRIEG - Jason Marnocha ZORO - Cyrus Rodas VIZ USING TWO HYPHENS INSTEAD OF AN EM DASH - Oz Ryan ADDITIONAL VOICES - Ryan Palmer

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Checking His List

Warnings: stalker behaviour and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Summary: Your shopping trip turns hectic.

Character: Curtis Everett

Day Twenty-Eight of the December Daze Challenge.

Prompt - the mall is packed and we keep running into each other.

Note: As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

While it’s below zero outside, inside the mall, the air is sweltering. The flurry of maddened shoppers searching for gifts churns the air with body heat and a wall of noise. You want to cover your airs and shrink down to nothing. You hate crowds but you have a list and you made a promise. 

You laid it all out meticulously. You have a strategy but you’re not sure how much that will help given the furor all around. You set off to the first store on your list. The toys will be a lovely surprise at the community lunch. You know the kids won’t be getting much at home. 

You squint at the paper. You made notes of Diana’s every specification. She’s very particular but you imagine that’s why she runs the children’s centre. 

You look up as you approach the east entrance of the department store, just in time to avoid another shopper. You stutter step and back up as you wait for the man to pass. You only realise then that he isn’t moving. He’s standing entirely still amidst the crowds, though it might only be because he saw you about to crash into him. 

“Oh, sorry,” you murmur, not sure he can hear you above the Christmas carols and rowdy shoppers. 

He doesn’t reply, doesn’t react. You hesitate and step around him, issuing another apology as your stress burns even hotter. You’re really no good with the general public, worse in peak hours, and you’ve only just gotten started. 

You don’t come here often. It takes you some time to get situated and find the right aisle. Oh, those are the art sets she wanted, and the Barbies. Hum, they don’t have many within budget. Oh, and the little cars. Those are cute. 

You push your cart, only an inch before you rear back, only then seeing the man standing further down the aisle. You’re not sure you need anything else there, still you might like to check if you can limit how many stores you need to run around to.  

The man doesn’t look at you, he doesn’t even really seem to be looking at the shelves. He’s just sort of there. Then, before you can muster an ‘excuse me’ or anything, he turns and marches off. The way he walks is stiff and straight and staunch. 

As you slowly roll forward and refocus on your list, he sticks in your head. Do you know him? There was something familiar about him? Could he be one of the parents from the children’s centre? Would he be here if he was? 

You peruse and find the selection lacking. You head for the checkout and wait patiently. The line zigzags around shelves of more merchandise, shoppers continuing their spending even as they wait to get their grand total. You peer around dully, unseeingly, until a dark spec catches your eye. 

It’s that man again. The same one from the aisle. His face is unreadable. He wears a beanie and a grey jacket that should help him blend in but for whatever reason, he sticks out. 

He’s look at you? Is he? 

You crane to see behind you. The sign calls out the next available till. It’s your turn. You peek back again but the man is gone. You’re paranoid. That's all. 

You go up and unload your cartful and unfold a reuseable bag. You grabbed only your biggest bags for today. You expect it will be an awkward journey home with all this. You pay with the company card Diana lent you and neatly fold away the receipt. 

You’re certain to leave your cart in the pen meant for them and head out the west exit. It’s closer to your next stop. The bath and body store is fragrant, the air so dense with aroma that it makes your head foggy. 

You buy the cute little bottles for kids; the bubble baths and seasonal candy cane scents. A mini scrubbie for each too. As you put it all in the small basket offered to you by an associate, you look up to the tight corner ahead of you. 

A mother and daughter browse the floral assortment of candles and behind them, a man stands, undistracted by the shelves and tables of product. He watches you. Your eyes meet and you wince. It’s him! That’s so strange.  

It’s one thing to keep running into the same person. It happens in a mall, but you haven’t seen him buy one thing. You haven’t even seen him look at a single purchase. 

You turn and curl around the other side of the table of 3 for $15 candles. The checkout line is twice as long as the previous one. As hike up the bags from the department store. Why did you, the only person without a car, offer to do this? Well, for once, you wanted to feel useful. 

You sense movement. A group of girls flutter up behind you, gabbing about if they should get coffee or just go look at shoes next as they get in line behind you. Then another shadow. Darker. Taller. 

The man passes closely and stops right by you. Your heart is racing. It’s not him, it’s the crowd, the smothering press of people looking for soaps and lotions and candle melts. 

He bends and reaches for something on the floor. He brings up the soap bottle with the reindeer antlers and holds it out. It must have slipped out. You accept it from him with a thanks. These baskets aren’t great for the smaller items. 

He’s already walking away before you can get a look at his face. His grey blue eyes are stamped in your mind but the rest of him remains obscure. You shake away the odd encounter and shuffle forward with the line. 

You tuck the smaller bag of soaps and such into one of your bigger bags and continue on once free of the shop. You don’t expect the dollar store to be an easy task, but a necessary one. You need wrap and few smaller stocking stuffers. It won’t be your last stop but it’s closeby and you don’t want to double back if you can help it. 

You pause to check your list as you sidle out of the way of the dollar store entrance. Alright, that, that, that... You lift your head and push the small cart through the first row. It’s nice to have the weight off your arms, but you’ll have to pick all that up again. And more. 

As you come to end of the first aisle, the foot of the cart rams to a halt. You squeak and look up. That man! His hands clamp onto the end of the cart and you blink. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to.” 

He just stares and looks past you. He steps around the cart and as he comes along the side, you shrink down, shying away as you expect the worst. Instead, he inserts himself between you and the cart you hear rolling down after you. He stays there, a barrier between you and the unseen shopper. That’s... strange. 

You scurry on frantically. You’re jittering from it all. The man, the hordes, the assault of lights and noise. You need to get out of her soon. 

You get as much gift wrap and bags as you need and use the self-checkout. You’re grateful for that modern convenience. Your social wick is burning short. 

You park your cart, take your bags, and go. As you emerge into the mall, a man walks full force into you, his wife narrowly missing you with her baby stroller. Neither of them apologise as you struggle not to topple. You lift the bags higher with all your strength and forge forward. 

You go to the end of the bench where a few teen boys sit with their skateboards. You turn your back to them and face the mall map. You take a deep breath and hold it in. You’re about to crack. This was a big mistake. You’re barely strong enough to go get groceries on a given week. You just wanted to help! That’s why you volunteer with the kids, even if you mostly hide in the background. 

Your eyes are glassy as you fight back tears. You release your breath slowly. It hurts. The panic attack needles hotly in your forehead and ears. 

“Scram,” the deep voice cuts through the hubbub and the snap of dry fingers adds the punctuation. 

The boys behind you quiet and you turn your head to watch over your shoulder as they grab their boards and hurry away. The man in the beanie sits, knees wide, and leans his elbows on his legs. He curls his shoulders and looks around like a guard dog. 

Your skin tingles as you sit only a few feet from him. You should go too, before you lose all your nerve. Your bags crinkle as you hook the handles around your hands. 

“You don’t gotta go,” he says. 

You wince and turn to him. He keeps his gaze aimed at the closest store. You peer around. 

“Busy,” he comments. 

“Um, yes it is,” you agree. “Thanks, er, I got more to get.” 

You gulp and turn away. Your bags hit the bench as you flee. That was weird too. Or maybe you’re just unbearably clueless. It seems like he was trying to give you space. That he chased away those boys deliberately. But why? 

Flavoured lip glosses, sparkly nail polishes, socks themed for the most popular kids’ shows... you check the marks off your list in your final haul. Just one more thing. A few of the boys like to play knights but the foam swords are all whittling away from play. 

You go down the next aisle, your cart doing little to part the sea of people. You can see what you need. The toy blades and even a few shields. You try to inch forward as an older man turns to the other shelf, but another woman fills the space before you can. 

You wheel back and wait. You just need to get in and out. The woman finally moves and as you go to roll ahead, another cart noses into yours and squeezes into the space. You sniff and pull back again. 

You stare helplessly. That wasn’t very polite but she doesn’t seem to notice. She takes out her phone and ignores you and the shelves. Is she even looking? 

“Hey,” the gritty voice chills you as a large hand rests on the front of your cart. The man in the beanie steps between you and that woman, “you should apologise.” 

“Huh? What?” She keeps her phone up but you can’t see much else. 

“You hit her with your cart. Say sorry.” 

“Who? What are you talking about?” 

“Apologise,” he peels his hand form the cart and jabs his thumb toward you without looking. 

The woman huffs then leans to see you. You give a hapless shrug. Her eyes scan up the man’s dark jacket and she shifts. 

“I-- I didn’t realise,” she clears her throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

“Maybe if you cared more about what’s going on than your phone,” the man snarls, looming over her until she backs away. She turns and grabs her cart, nearly hitting another as she rushes away. 

He lets go and turns back, marching past you without a word. You can’t speak either. You’re burnt out. You’re going to get the last of it and go. 

You finally get your turn and grab a couple of swords, each with a different colour handle, and some shields. You put it in your cart and circle the perimeter of the store to avoid the claustrophobic aisles. The checkout line however cannot be avoided. 

You step into the narrow snaking lane where you are to wait your turn. As you lean on your cart, there’s a brush against your back, and another, and another. The garble of voices behind you drone with the rest of the overwhelming noises all around. You sink your head down and cover your ears. You can’t take it anymore. 

You’re jostled again as a man laughs loudly and his elbow jabs your back. You gasp and turn to see what’s going on. A black shape moves decisively from the back of the line, cutting along the edge without falter.  

The man in the beanie steps up and extends his arm between you and the man after you, the one who keeps knocking into you. He pushes him calmly away and inserts himself there, back to you as he crosses his arms and plants his feet wide. 

“Hey, dude, you’re butting--” 

“Pay attention,” the man growls. “You’re being a nuisance.” 

“Dude, I’m waiting--” 

“You’re bothering people. Too loud.” 

“Whatever. You a cop or some shit?” 

The man doesn’t answer. He doesn’t move either. Even as the line ahead of you does. You roll with it and he keeps his barrier in place. You can’t help but be thankful for the unrequested buffer. 

You pay, get your receipt, fill up your last bag, and push your cart into the corral by the door. You’re not going back through the mall.

Before you can back up, another shopper shoulders by and snatches the cart you just disposed. You stagger back and watch, dumbfounded. What is wrong with people? 

Your ears are ringing and your eyes watering, and you didn’t factor in being physically battered by a shopping trip. This time of year is horrid. It’s chaos. People are animals. Just like you always knew. 

Your arms strain as you clutch your bags and make a slow progress through the automatic doors. You just need to get to the bus. You stop just to the left of the doors and try to adjust your grasp. 

Before you can, the weight is lifted and something rough brushes around your fingers. You are too stunned to resist as the bags are unhooked from your hands. You reel around and face the thief. You’re an easy target. 

“Where’s your car?” It’s that man in his beanie, with the grey eyes and the dark stubble. 

“I-- I don’t--- Who are you?” 

“A good samaritan,” he rasps.  

“You don’t have to--” You reach for the bags and he steps out of your reach. “I don’t have a car.” 

He stares at you, “I can walk you.” 

“It’s fine, the bus stop---” you nod towards the street. 

“Bus...” he mutters. “Dangerous. With all this.” 

“It’s fine,” you insist. 

“I have a truck. I’ll drive you.” 

“You don’t-- why?” You sputter. 

He looks around. He’s quiet as his eyes scan the area. “Merry Christmas.” It’s not a very cheery tiding. 

“Oh, but--” 

“Curtis,” he says. 

“What?” 

“So we’re not strangers. I’m Curtis, and you?” 

You heave and give your name. “I really can’t let you do all that--” 

“But I’m going to,” he says and turns away. You have no choice but to follow him. 

“Wait--” 

“I don’t like crowds either,” he intones as you scurry to keep up with him. 

You want to say you don’t think anyone does but you’re still reeling, as much from the hectic experience in the mall as from his sudden act of... kindness? 

He stops behind a slate gray truckbed and slips the bags onto his wrist. He fishes in his pocket and there’s a loud click as it unlocks. He pulls open the back and loads your shopping under the heavy cover. 

“You have a lot of kids?” He wonders. 

You shake your head, “I work at the community centre. Volunteer, actually...” 

He nods and shuts the back of the truck. You wring your hands shakily and stare at the silver lock. You frown and look up at him, finding him staring at you already. 

“You don’t trust me,” he reaches into his jacket and takes out a canister. “Well, if I make a wrong move, press down.” 

He holds out the long black spray can. You shake your head. What is it? 

“Bear mace. You can keep it.” 

You furrow your brow and continue to gape at the inexplicable offer. Why does he have this? 

“Can never be too safe,” he takes your hand and places the can in it. “Make sure those toys get back safe for those kids.” 

You wrap your fingers around the metal and he lets you go. You look down at it then at him again. You’re so confused but too tired to argue. You suppose it is the season for giving, even if he doesn’t seem the festive type. 

“Anywhere else you need to go?” He asks as he takes his keys out. 

You shake your head and back away. He watches you for a moment before he moves himself. He walks up on side of the truck and you the other. The door locks thunk loudly. 

Well, whoever Curtis is, can he be any worse than the general holiday shopper? 

[kaliforniahigh]

birds of a feather, we should stick together - n.s. (part one)

Best friends to lovers, fake dating and best friend Noah <3

Warnings: a mean character, curse words, Noah makes fun of fine line tattoos, lies and reader trying to fit in to the best of her abilities. If I missed something, let me know!

Part 2 is in the works and coming soon!

WC: 4.3k words.

Requests are closed for now / Click here to be added to the permanent tag list <3

To say you were overly excited to meet up with your high school friends would be a total lie. When you told Noah they arranged a lunch date, to remember the good old days, he scoffed, and asked you why you even stayed in the group chat with these people.

Truth is, they weren't all bad. Acually, most of them were pretty nice, It was the Regina George of the group, also known as Jade, who fucked up the vibes.

Jade was a mean girl, and she never understood why you were friends with the awkward emo kid, with the side-swept bangs. This emo kid being your best friend, Noah Sebastian, who was the first person you met when you enrolled in a new school, in the middle of the school year.

It was 6th grade, and you had just moved to Richmond, VA. Your dad was transferred, so you had to find a new home, in a new city.

You and Noah became friends fast, being paired up by your English teacher during reading classes, you talked more than you actually read. He found out, that even though it didn't look like it, you enjoyed the same bands as he did. And that you learned to play acoustic guitar from a pretty young age.

You told him that your dad was in a band during his college years, but, due to adult responsabilities, it became more of a hobby for him than anything else.

Soon, the two of you were inseparable. Walking down school corridors together, him going to your house to do homework, and showing you around the city on the weekends.

You were the one who took school more seriously than him, and you were the one who ended up going to college and getting your Master's degree right after. But he was the one who always took you to watch his band practice, who took you to watch his friends - who were always much older than the two of you - perform.

When you were both 15, Noah told you he was going to drop out of high school. You weren't too happy, because you wouldn't have your best friend with you anymore, but you always knew the time would come, and were surprised he didn't decide to do it much sooner.

And that's how you met Jade and her friends. You weren't popular by any means, but, one day, she approached you and asked you how you styled your hair so nicely, and how she loved your pink tips.

You wanted to tell her that your best friend helped you. When you told Noah you wanted a splash of color in your hair, he went to the store with you to buy the necessary things. He wanted you to do purple, but you settled on pink. You remember him huffing in annoyance, telling you that pink was such a boring color.

At home, he helped you with the back of your head, while you spread the vivid color on the front pieces. It turned out amazing, and you joked that he could be a hair stylist if this band thing didn't work out.

Noah and Jade never really got along. The first day they met, Noah was picking you up from school, waiting for you in the parking lot. You remember Jade making a backhanded remark about his tattoos and the way he dresses, and Noah's face turned sour immediately.

After that, anytime they were in the same vicinity, shady comments were thrown by both of them. Noah always commenting about how the bleach in her hair must've gotten to her brain, and Jade commenting about how Noah was a wannabe rockstar.

Noah asked you many times why you kept her around, instead of dumping her and finding new friends, and you always explained how it wasn't that easy.

This was high school, and everyone already had their group of friends, not really being keen on letting other people in. Besides, without him there, and without the girls, you truly had no one else.

At the end of the day, he understood. Noah himself had a hard time making friends, and to this day, he never understood how someone like you decided to befriend him. He knew how being solitary could ruin your years in high school.

Now, sitting in this overpriced lunch spot they found downtown, you were contemplating your life choices as you tried to eat your Caeser salad without grimacing. All of them ordered fucking salads, and you did the same, not wanting to be the only one ordering chicken parm.

"Girlies", Jade said, wiping her mouth with a napking and setting it back down on her lap. "I know this is a reunion, but I have such good news", she clapped her hands excitedly. Typical Jade, always wanting the attention on her.

Everyone stopped eating to pay attention to what she was saying.

"So, you know how Peter proposed to me last year, right?", everyone nodded yes. "We're getting married in two months!", she exclaimed, reaching inside her Louis Vitton bag and pulling out what seemed to be wedding invitations. "And all of you are invited!"

The girls cheered and started to hug her, you did the same, expressing your happines for your friend.

"It's going to be in the Bahamas, in an all-inclusive resort", she informed, handing out the wedding invitations. Meanwhile, you were wondering with what money you were getting your ass to the Bahamas.

"Peter is paying all the expenses, for everyone, so don't even worry about it", she said, as if reading your thoughts.

Jade got engaged to the kind of person everyone thought she was going to date. Peter was a hot shot plastic surgeon based in LA. You had no doubt he racked up millions of dollars every month just fixing people's faces. Jade herself had something new done everytime you met up.

"What about you, Y/N? Who are you bringing as your plus one?", Emma asked. You guess you zoned out and missed part of the conversation.

"You're bringing your boyfriend, right?", Lily chimed in.

Did they even know if you had a boyfriend or not? You looked around the table, all the girls waiting for your answer. You didn't know what to say. Suddenly, your eyes noticed all of their beautiful engagement rings, and you didn't have the courage to say you were still single.

"Yeah, of course", you answered, hoping you were convincing.

"Uhh, that's amazing! Who is he?", Jade asked, excitment coating her voice.

Shit. Who the fuck would you say is your boyfriend?

"Noah", you said. He was the first person to come to mind, and you didn't hesitate to say his name.

You saw Jade's face twist in a frown.

"You're dating Noah?", she asked, judgment evident in her tone.

"Hmm, yeah, for a while now", you were lying through your teeth at this point.

"Well", she shrugged. "I guess it was always gonna happen anyways", and just like that, the rest of the girls went back to their conversations, while you mulled over what the hell you had just done.

You were already gonna tell Noah to come with you to the wedding the moment she handed out the invitations, which, was going to be a difficult task in itself, since Noah held a grudge against Jade to this day. But you were sure you could convince him with the all-inclusive resort argument.

Now, not only did you have to convince him to go with you, but you had to tell him you told the girls you were dating?

You were already thinking of excuses not to go.

When everyone was finished with their meals, they slowly started to say their goodbyes. You did the same, giving each one of them a kiss on the cheek as you made your way out of the restaurant and to your car.

When you got in, you instantly fished your phone from your purse, dialing Noah's number.

"You need saving from the botox bitch?", Noah answered the phone. You rolled your eyes, but laughed anyway.

"I'm already leaving the restaurant, actually. I was calling to ask if I can come over"

"Since when do you call to ask if you can come over?", he asked, confusion in his voice. He was right, you usually just showed up.

"I don't know? To make sure you're home?"

"You know I'm always home"

"Can I comer over or not?", you asked again, a hint of fake annoyance in your voice.

"Of course you can"

"Then I'll see you in fifteen", you said, hanging up the phone and starting your car.

On the way over to Noah's house, you've been thinking about how you were going to break the news. You still had a little while to think about what you were going to tell him, but, you knew that as soon as he saw your face, he'd know you were hiding something from him.

So, without an actual plan, you decided to tell him today. That way, you wouldn't have to torture youself for days with this information, and you gave him more time to prepare. That is, if he even decided to go.

You trusted your abilities to convince him, though. Noah had a history of doing whatever you wanted just to see you happy, and you never took advantage of that, but desperate times call for for desperate measures. Besides, a vacation to the Bahamas, with all expenses paid, didn't seem all that bad. Even if you had to endure Jade for a few days.

Parking outside, you gave yourself a pep talk before leaving your car and locking it behind you. Using your spare key, you unlocked the front door and made your way inside the living room, announcing your arrival by calling Noah's name.

"I'm right here, what are you yelling for?", he answered from the couch, the PS5 controller in his hands. You just shrugged in answer, and sat next to him.

Grabbing your purse, you pulled out the fancy wedding invitation Jade had handed to you, and set it on the couch beside him and between the two of you. Grabbing it and reading what was written in gold letters, Noah's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Oh, so the queen of botox is getting married to the king of botox?", you gave him a sideways glance, but smiled at his nicknames for the couple. It did suit them, after all.

"Yeah, they are. Jade couldn't help but announce it today", you pointed out.

"Well, are you going?", he asked, setting the invitation back down.

"Hmm. It depends, I guess", you answered, avoiding his eyes and you could tell he already clocked that something is wrong.

"Why?", he asked, a little hesitant.

"Jade said we can bring a plus one"

"Yeah, you usually can at weddings"

"And I was thinking....", you trailed off and looked at him, seeing the exact moment the realization dawned on him, and he immediately started to shake his head.

"There is no way", he said, getting up from the couch and walking over to the kitchen. You got up as well and went after him.

"Why not?", you asked him, a little bit of whining in your voice.

"Are you seriously asking 'why not'?"

"I mean, I know you don't like her, but c'mon, this is gonna be a nice wedding. Besides, it's in the Bahamas, and Peter is paying for everything", you argued.

"Is it's because it's in the Bahamas, I can pay for a vacation for us in the Bahamas, no problem", he crossed his arms against his chest.

"It's not because of that"

"Y/N", he stepped closer towards you. "You know you can just go alone, right?"

"I can't go alone", you huffed in annoyance, because his argument was totally valid, but you did not have that option anymore, all because of your big mouth and will to please everyone.

"Why not?", he asked, confusion etched all over his face.

"Because...", your shoulders slumped as you realized the gravity of your mistake.

"Hey", he grabbed your shoulders, sensing your discomfort. You were never uncomfortable around him, so this behaviour from you scared him a little bit. "You can tell me, what is it?"

"I told them I have a boyfriend", you say, voice low and a little embarassed.

"But you don't have a boyfriend", he observed the obvious, having difficulty in understanding where you were going with this.

"I told them it was you", you looked down towards the floor, fingers going to rub your forehead as you waited for his reaction. The seconds ticked by, and the silence ate you alive.

"You...", he started, but stopped himself in his tracks, head going over what you just told him, to make sure he got it right. "You told them we were dating?", you answered with a head nod, still looking down.

"Y/N", he said your name with a little bit of annoyance lacing his tone. He looked up at the ceiling, as if willing the heavens to give him the strength to deal with you.

"I know, I know", you say, looking up at him. "It was just that they were drilling me about this and I didn't know what to do!"

"Tell them you're not dating anyone?", he deadpanned, and you hated that he kept stating the obvious.

"Yeah, but they already see me as the odd one out, what are they gonna think when I tell them that I'm almost thirty and not dating anyone? They're all engaged, for fucks sake!", you exclaimed and started to pace around the kitchen.

"You worry about what they think of you too much", Noah pointed out. He hated the way you felt like you always had to please them, they way you always thought you had to fit in into their world.

"It's ok, I'll just come up with an excuse so I don't have to go to the wedding", you waved your hand, dismissing this conversation. You were already feeling your head start to throb. You made your way to the couch, grabbing your purse, and the invitation.

Behind you, you hear Noah let out a big breath, before softly calling out your name. You stopped in front of the door and turned around to face him.

"You owe me big fucking time", he pointed a finger at you, and you couldn't help but let a smile dance over your lips.

"You're gonna do this?", you asked, a little doubtful.

"You're doing my laundry for two weeks", he comprimised. "No, three weeks. Fuck it, you're doing my laundry for a whole fucking month"

You cheered at this, not minding it one bit. His laudry was easy since he only had black clothes.

You skipped your way over to him, reaching your arms up and circling them around his neck to pull him into a hug. You couldn't see, but he had a smile on his lips as well.

At this moment, Noah thinks he would do just about anything to keep you happy.

"At least she can't make fun of your hair anymore", you observed, as you parted from him. He groaned in reply.

"Don't fucking push it", he warned you, but there was no real threat to his words.

"Oh!", you snapped your fingers as you remembered an important information about the wedding. "I forgot to tell you something"

"What is it?", he asked, looking at you sideways in suspiscion.

"It's at an all-inclusive resort", you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. "Besides", you continued "Jade's probably gonna invite so many people, we won't even cross paths with her", you observed.

"I hope you're right"

To say you had a lot of time to prepare was a lie. Time flew by incredibly fast, and in between work, choosing a dress and picking up a suit for Noah - who complained endlessly about having to wear it, you argued that he can't wear a black tank top to a wedding, and he huffed and puffed even more - you were only one day away from boarding the plane.

You were going over everything in your suitcase. Another thing Noah was going to complaing about, you can hear his voice in your head asking you why you needed so much stuff. You zipped it up when you decided that obsessively thinking if you forgot anything was not going to make you magically remember something.

You texted Noah that you were ready for him to pick you up. You both decided it was best if you slept over at his house, and he was asking one of the boys to drive you over to the airport for practical reasons.

It wasn't too long before you heard honking outside, signaling Noah's arrival. You took everything you needed, and looked around you to make sure you locked everything up, and when you were satisfied with your quick inspection, you walked over and opened the front door.

Noah was opening the trunk when he saw you.

"Don't say anything", you raised your hand up to stop the words you were sure were going to stumble from his lips. He raised his arms up in surrender and didn't say anything. But, he did make overexaggerated grunting noises as he hauled your bags inside the trunk. You ignored him and went to lock your front door instead.

Getting in the car and driving away, you pulled your phone from your pocket.

"Jade already texted the flight information", you observed.

"At least she's competent", he retorted.

"Imma need you to try and be civil, at least. Remember we're going to enjoy the beach and drinks", you reminded him of what you've been saying for the past weeks. "And you can't call them botox queen and botox king".

"If she doesn't talk shit about my tattoos, we'll be fine", he argued back.

"Her husband has tattoos", you pointed out, as if that makes the situation any better.

"I bet it's some fine line pussy ass tattoo of a lion or some shit like that", he grunted in annoyance, remembering he's gonna have to deal with Jade AND her husband.

"You know what?", you rubbed you chin in thought. "I think it actually is", you pondered, and you both couldn't help but cackle out loud about the fact that he was most likely right about the tattoo.

The rest of the day went on without a hitch. You ordered some food so you didn't get any pans or pots dirty before traveling, and soon, you were both ready for bed, since you were leaving pretty early in the morning to catch your flight.

You were getting comfortable in Noah's left side of the bed, when he came in the room, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, joining you under the covers.

Plugging your phone to charge, you turn to look at him, doing the same.

"Did you set the alarm?", you asked and he hummed a yes. "Did you set it really loud?", he hummed in reply once again.

He knew you got anxious whenever you had to do something important in the morning. You always thought some entity was going to disable the alarms you set on your phone and you wouldn't wake up in time.

"Don't worry, we'll get there with lots of time to spare", he reassured you, and opened his arms so you could lay against his chest.

Sleep found you easily, as it always did whenever you and Noah slept on the same bed. You were used to sleeping in an empty house, since you've been living on your own ever since you moved for college. But to say your sleep was calm and serene was a lie.

With him, you felt safer, like he could protect you from everything and anything. You trusted him more than you trusted anyone else in your life.

Noah, wasn't as tired as you were, and he contemplated how these days were going to go over as he waited for your breath to even out. It was a ritual of sorts whenever you two slept together. He always waited for you to fall asleep first. And, sometimes, when you had difficulty sleeping, he sang some soft tunes, or rubbed your scalp the way he knew you liked, and that always did the trick.

Next time you woke up, was with Noah's shrill alarm ringing on the bedside table. He really did set it really loud, because you were groaning and telling him to turn it off. He woke up with a yawn, disentangling his arm from under your torso to finally quiet the alarm.

Yawning and stretching your limbs all over the bed, you heard Noah chuckle beside you.

"You're like a damn cat, stretching like that", he pointed out, looking at you with a smile on his face.

He always thought you were the most adorable in the morning. Your hair was a little messed up, and your eyes were all tired and fighting sleep. A part of him wished he could just pull you back to rest beside him and resume sleep. But, the trip from hell awaited the two of you.

Getting up from the bed, he announced he was going to brush his teeth and take a shower, meanwhile, you busied yourself gathering all of the suicases and backpacks downstairs.

As soon as Noah left the bathroom, you went in there and did your morning routine as well as you could with your stuff all packed away. Luckily, you kept a few things over at his place for convenience.

Changing into something comfortable for the airport, you made your way downstairs and found Noah dressed in usual sweatpants and hoodie combo.

"Did you grab your sleep mask? I won't lend you mine this time", you told him. Last time, you had to endure a whole flight without your sleep mask, because Noah had forgotten his, and you had no heart to tell him no when he asked to borrow yours.

"Yes, ma'am. I grabbed my sleep mask", he answered. "I already texted Jolly, and he's on his way to pick us up".

"Did you lock everything up?"

"Yep, already checked the entire house while you were showering"

Noah was used to this. You had a ritual everytime you were travelling, and he learned that getting ahead of you was the best thing to do. That way, you wouldn't get stressed with things he didn't do, or forgot.

Right on cue, you heard a horn souding outside, Noah opened the door and was greeted with Jolly waving from inside the car.

"Ok, let's go", you clapped your hands in a "chop chop" motion.

On the way to the airport, Noah and Jolly chatted on the front seat, while you went over the flight details on your phone, making sure everything was in order for check-in. Noah hated airports, so he left you in charge of everything he found boring.

The drive was short, and soon, you were bidding Jolly goodbye at the drop off zone, and you didn't miss the little pat on the back and the "good luck" he wished Noah before getting back in his car and driving away.

Checking-in, you and Noah found a place to sit while he grabbed some breakfast for the two of you. While you sat there, eating and waiting, you were reminded of a very important detail that you forgot to discuss with him.

"Oh, my God! I totally forgot to talk to you about something", you exclaimed, swatting him in the chest to get his attention.

"This is the second time you forgot to tell me something about this wedding trip", he said.

"When they ask us how we got together, what are we gonna tell them?", you ask him. You've been going over all the lies you'd need to tell during this trip, and you realized that you and Noah didn't have a game plan at all.

"That one day, you professed your undying love for me and then we started to date?", he said, as if the answer was obvious, but you could tell he was sprinkling a little bit of sarcasm in there.

"I'm serious, Noah", you huffed, looking at him. "We have to be beliveable, otherwise, they'll catch on, and ruin the whole thing"

"We can just tell them that we realized we wanted to have something more than just a friendship", he suggested, and the idea wasn't so bad. Jade always said you'd end up together from how much time you spend with each other.

"Out of nowhere?"

"No, we've been hiding our feelings, thinking that the other didn't feel the same way, until, one day, I told you I liked you and you told me you liked me too", you rubbed your chin, thinking over his plan. "It's not overcomplicated and if we stick to the same story, we'll be fine", he reassued you. "Besides, Jade is so self-absorbed she'll probably not even ask anything about us at all"

"That's very likely", you agreed with his reasoning. After all, it was Jade's wedding, so the light is gonna be on her, and not on you and Noah.

"What about PDA?", you broached another subject that you've been avoiding.

"If you wanna kiss me, you can just ask, you know?", he teased you, nudging you with his shoulder.

"It's not what I meant, and you know it", you told him, but you weren't able to hide the little blush covering your cheeks, and he noticed too, by the way he was grinning.

"I can hold your hand. I mean, I kind of already do. But let's just go with the flow. You don't have to worry too much about this, it's just a couple of days, after all", he said, and he was right. You and Noah meshed well and were usually in the same wavelength, so there was no reason to think things were going to go south.

You just hoped you had time to relax and enjoy the beach, the drinks and the foods, which, if you knew Jade as well as you did, were going to be impeccable.

Tag list: @concreteangel92 @foliosgirl @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @stardustsirenmelody @miwomens @concretejunglefm @fadingangelwisp @prettygirlrock126 @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @babygirlchuuya @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @lacy1986 @romanreigns-supreme @xmads-omensx @missduffsblog @rumoured-whispers @thisbicc @badomensgoodomens @floatingkiwi @collective-heartbreak @dontwantthemoney @dream-machine-love @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @amelia-acero @kenjipepsi1 @montgomery-929496 @daddy-dierkes-girlie @stardustsirenmelody @cheyyyyr @triedbimsoblu333 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @noyaisasimp @youlookforultraviolet @w0manof-flesh44 @chaoticwineaunt @geminigirlfromfinland @turn-your-life-into-folklore @butterflyeffect07 @zozaline @deardelirium @ferduttini @jilliemiw86 @alylanaeblack @lilcrazy011

[ylangelegy]

LOVE&LETTER REPACKAGE ୨ৎ my favorite SVT work from 2024!

i'm a firm believer that some of the most creative writers on the internet are on svtblr. couldn't let the year end without showing love for the fics that have set the bar impossibly high when it comes to writing for SEVENTEEN. thank you to all writers for making this corner of the internet such a great place to be! ❤︎

footnotes: some of these work may contain explicit content. please heed the warnings when checking them out.

hush by @sailorrhansol

You can’t seem to sleep, but the strange man in the bar that you can’t visiting promises he can help.

hali's entire body of work is awe-inspiring, and i personally believe hush is something of a magnum opus. there's just so much density in all of her verses but hush does something that's never-before-seen when you think of this genre. it's so easy to lose yourself in the liminality of this work— throw in the premise and the dynamics, and you've got a breathtaking example of creative writing at its finest.

achilles’ heel by @pochaccoups

after a knee surgery, your boyfriend feels off about his body. you’re determined to show him just how much you love it.

sometimes, you can just tell when a writer cares about the character/member they're writing about. that's 100% the case with achilles' heel. it's one thing to nail seungcheol's personality; it's another thing to treat him with such well-deserved consideration. the smut is terrific, yes, but so is the love. you know that any version of seungcheol is in good hands when char is writing him.

full throttle (part one & two) by @diamonddaze01

jeonghan's not used to someone who pushes his buttons as easily as you do, and you're not used to someone who challenges you as quickly as he does. maybe it's time to go full throttle, both on and off the track.

i like to think that even if i didn't know tara, i would be absolutely insane over full throttle. there's a mix of everything here— fast-paced races for formula one fans, killer lines that read like poetry, and a full spectrum of human emotion. you're on the edge of your seat the entire ride. journalist!reader may be the best writer in the paddock, but tara is the best writer on this site.

the first snow by @junkissed

you think of joshua every time it snows. but does he think of you, too?

i feel like june has mastered the art of hook, line, and sinker. the first line of this draws you in— come for the opener, stay for the writing. this is a brilliant play on a known trope, and i was particularly endeared by how snow was used both in the literal and figurative/metaphorical sense. in love with how descriptive it was, too.

chemistry read by @chanranghaeys

in which junhui’s casting director gets a little bit too jealous during a chemistry read.

chemistry read is the probably the most recent work in this list. as of posting, i am still thinking of just how well haneul nailed jun's personality. there's something to be said about the relatively unconventional pairing— actor x actor fics are to be expected, so a casting director!reader is a rare treat— but the dynamics of their relationship is the real clincher. haneul has a way of writing things that leaves you wanting more, and this is a prime example.

araneae by @haologram

when you realize your friend (with benefits) actually has feelings for you, a tangled web of lies and avoidance ensues.

altair's treatment of soonyoung in this fic should set a precedent for how to write him across the board. the push and pull in araneae is superb, and the reader has the perfect amount of bite. i'm obsessed with the conflict and how it's eventually resolved, though what gets me the most is just how hoshi-like soonyoung is in this au. 10/10, no notes.

in front of me (part one & two) by @wonustars

jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolescence and early adulthood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time.

in front of me is a study into the human condition. not a single word in this 40k+ word fic goes to waste. it's an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish, particularly because there's a rawness to the conflicts and relationships that it presents. anna deserves all the flowers for putting out such a real piece of work; in front of me is her heart on a platter, and it just goes to show that her heart is a good one.

wonwoo + ramen by @fxstpace

“i want ramen,” you say in response to his question. “i’m really hungry.”

i've told aspen this, but this drabble is one of the first things i read when i made this blog! i adore how soft this piece is, and how she managed to encapsulate an entire relationship in a handful of words. the dialogue and rapport is riveting; the image put in your mind is a comfort. we may not always have a jeon wonwoo to cook for us, but at least we have aspen's writing to get us by.

first snow by @cxffecoupx

lee jihoon + sharing a warm kiss during the first snow of the season.

drabble-writing is a monster in its own right, but ris coasts through it with ease. sometimes, a fic can fall under the 'healing' category, and that's what first snow is. four hundred something-words of the kindness that jihoon deserves, wrapped up prettily in a story brimming with affectionate and domesticity. doesn't matter that it's a winter fic; the love here is for all seasons.

dressing as winx—musa for jihoon's birthday & god of the music!woozi x fairy of the music!reader by @hoshifighting

after a moment of lost creativity, the god of music accidentally evokes a beautiful music fairy who is willing to help him.

i've said it once, and i'll say it again, and again, and again: lyla is a cornerstone when it comes to svtblr. her work is astounding and this is one of my favorites from this year. the writing for the ask is terrific in itself, but the au where jihoon is god of the music? cherry on top. i'm always awed by how she can take a prompt and run with it; these two pieces are just proof of why she's an absolute paragon for writing, smut or not.

boyfriend shaped by @seokminfilm

Dinner with your boyfriend was something you looked forward to.

something about kindergarten teacher!seokmin just bowls me over. this is a lovely ode to the absolute sweetheart that is seokmin, and it scratches the itch of his influx of boyfriend material photos. his personality is characterized so well in this; overall, it's the type of fic that has you swooning.

stuff to talk about by @kkaetnipjeon

The sight in front of you is pitiful, honestly. Makes you wish you'd just sent Hansol straight to voicemail, like you usually do. Makes you wish you hadn't responded to that anonymous post on the student forum four years ago. Physical therapy grad student, male, 23, looking for roommate in Yeonnam area, open to all.

i fear that i've spent the past weeks screaming in my tags about how MJ is one of my favorite writers as of late, and this is the fic that started it all. i've sent this out to at least three different people, which should say just how much i adore it. the world-building is intricate. the pacing is exquisite. the dialogue is a living, breathing thing, and the characters are well-rounded from start to finish. MJ's entire masterlist is worth running through; stuff to talk about is the best place to begin.

late night talking by @junkissed

the best and worst conversations always happen at 1am.

a masterclass in writing xu minghao. late night talking is rich in emotion and dialogue, but the heart of it is in how it soothes aches that can be universal to anyone who has loved/lost/tried/failed. there's a certain vulnerability to writing angst that can be terrifying, and june put it best when i first expressed how much i love this fic: "if everybody has the same insecurities, then maybe the world is a kinder place than we all think." how lucky are we to exist in a time where someone like june can put these feelings into words.

an ode to hands and voice by @ddeonghwa-s

a moment of seungkwan fucking you, inspired by his hands and voice.

there's a lot to love in an ode to hands and voice. it's descriptive and evocative, and just overall stellar in how it handles seungkwan. what makes this so special is the intimacy which bleeds through all 1.3k words. there's some parts where you feel like you're intruding, like you're interrupting something, because the entire scene is executed beautifully.

reverb by @gyuhao5

In his clumsy attempts at trying to befriend you, Vernon slowly discovers that the pull he feels toward you might be more than purely friendly.

one of my favorite things is when writers take on vernon and you can hear his voice in the dialogue. reverb nails everything from his mannerisms to his tone, and the eventual smut is also just painfully accurate for what you might expect from him. overall: this is as vernon as vernon will get, if we're talking fanfiction.

untitled drabble by @seungcheorry

dino will be damned if he doesn't spend some time with you.

cherry's drabbles are as good as required readings if we're talking about svtblr greats. this piece in particular is short and sweet, but it packs all the right punches. the narrative choices in this— paired with the imagery and the tenderness— can truly steal the air out of your lungs. dinonaras beware; this one will do a number on you.

MORE & MORE & MORE!

seungcheol with a s/o that enjoys thrifting by cxffecoupx

seventeen as greek demigods (hyung + maknae) by chugging-antiseptic-dye

redemption (mingyu x reader) by gyubakeries

hockey player cheol x reader by thepixelelf

run (minghao x reader) by diamonddaze01

a regular korean citizen (jeonghan x reader) by chanranghaeys

childhoodbestie!chan x reader by gotta-winwin

green eyes and confessions (wonwoo x reader x mingyu) by svtiddiess

inside job (seokmin x reader) by seokgyuu

the alchemy (seungcheol x reader) by babyleostuff

staff!jeonghan x reader by hoshifighting

dove (minghao x reader) by cherryredcheol

[stuckinmymind22]

zoro x gn! reader

wc: 663

this is the first part of a series "you're in love with me" where you realize that they are in love with you can call them out on it

thanks for voting on this one, i had fun with it, sorry it took so long, i got busy with the holidays, but it’s here now 💕

ace's is done and will be up probably tomorrow and i'm gonna start on sanjis, but lmk if you are interested in any other characters

not proof read lol

this goes one of two ways, in both you're being called stupid, both included

it's a chose your own adventure babe!

zoro has been acting strange recently- he was almost too quick to come to your aid, even if it was something you both knew you could handle alone. he’s also been making sure that you eat. recently he brought up a plate for you when you were on duty in the crow’s nest. sure, the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheeks were tinted pink, but that was easy to write off as a consequence of the alcohol that was surely in his veins. but he didn’t leave right away like you thought he would, he stood on the ladder without moving until he saw you take your first bite. on the last island there had been a miscalculation in your provisions and the ship was running dangerously low on alcohol. there was no doubt that the crew was going to run dry shy of meeting their next destination, which was a bigger deal to some of the straw hats than others. it all brings you to the moment he offers you a sip of the last bottle of sake. you’re speechless. you always thought that hell sure would freeze over before he shared his booze and here he is willingly offering you some. you’re trying to figure out what was going on in his head, why he has been acting so strange, then it hits you.  “you’re in love with me.”

denial is a river in egypt

“did you hit your head or sum?” he asks, trying to remain as impartial as possible, but you didn’t miss how he nearly choked at your words. “no, zo, this makes sense,” you say connecting the dots, "you've been acting real weird about me recently, this explains it." you aren’t about to back down from this, not after you wanted this for so long, not until he admits it to himself. “you’re being an idiot,” he rolls his eyes, “do you want some or not?” with a smile you grab the bottle out of his hand and take a swig, sitting down next to him. “i don’t mind you know,” you say taking another sip, “that you love me that is” zoro is confused why he is so drawn to the dangerous smile that plays on your lips. he shakes himself out of it snatching back the bottle and taking a long gulp. you get pulled away by luffy wanting something, but he still feels your presence.  little do you know how those words haunt him for the rest of the night. fuck, you might be right

he's down bad and he knows it

“n-no I’m not,” zoro sputters, his face alight, “are you stupid or something?” “no, no, this is why you’ve been acting strange,” you say, the weight of your revelation still sinking in. “that’s why you haven’t let me out of your sight for the past week, right?” you don’t give him time to respond (not that he would be able to formulate a coherent response anyway). you continue listing all of his abnormal behaviors and fail to notice how his face grows redder with your every word. poor zoro is sinking into his seat hoping to disappear he’s so uncomfortable. he’s certain that he messed everything up and has no idea what to do now. he knows that you’re right of course, it’s kept him up at night, kept him from his precious naps. it took him a while to realize why you never left his mind, and the determining factor came from the fucking cook spewing some bullshit to a pretty woman on the last island. just when he is certain that he ruined whatever relationship you could ever have you turn to him with a big smile.  “it’s a good thing you are though, or else this would be awkward,” you tell him, before he can even think to question what you mean your lips are on his and his brain malfunctions.  maybe it’ll be alright.

masterlist

[unhappy-sometimes]

a 2024 reading retrospective

so. i read a lot of fics in 2024. here are some of my favorites.

before i get started, please note that these are not in any particular order and these are not all of my favorites!!!!!!!! i wanted to include so many more but i just wasn't able to! also please don't roast me for reading stuff from more than two years ago :(((

anyway, here we go!!

1. Air by Cantare

as always, @cantareincminor knocks it out of the park. i'm a sucker for alternate first meeting AUs and Air is one of the good ones!! i find that it can be hard to find authentic sounding banter between yor and twilight, but cantare manages it somehow! they have such great and natural sounding dialogue. it's just a one chapter fic, but maybe if we ask nicely enough, cantare will continue one day 😏

2. like the wild geese by anonymous_viscacha

okay in all honesty, i read this for the first time last week and i scrambled to add this one to the list. it's a short one shot about a shared lunch break between yor and loid, but it's so sweet and endearing that i just had to put it on. i love love love it when people let loid and yor catch up on the childhood they lost because they deserve it. i'm kinda obsessed with this fic right now.

3. what happens outside by aerequets

it's kinda unfair that @aerequets gets to be a great artist and author but here we are. i'm not complaining tho because what happens outside is a delightful read. i enjoy exploring post reveal pre relationship twiyor and this fic is perfect for that!! it's also just really cute and reading things from yor's perspective is super endearing.

4. chaos theory by sarsaparillia

so ngl this one scared me at first because i do NOT like major character death fics and this one really seems like it, but this fic was unexpectedly wholesome and has a happy ending!!! it's short but bittersweet so i can't really talk about it without spoiling it any more. go read it! it's short!

5. eventually i fall into you, you attack my heart by princessguard

i know this is a controversial (and somewhat ironic) take but i usually really don't like eden AUs but. this fic is proof that there are always exceptions to the rule. this one is a short little story about a serious student at eden and the weird girl he keeps meeting in trees. i don't know exactly why i love this one so much but it do. it's cute and the epilogue got me grinning like a fool.

6. like real people do by Puolain

once again another alternative meeting AU. i dunno, man, it's just so much fun to see twilight and yor having the chance to be real people and accidentally fall in love which each other. i eat that up every time. great work @loveroma!

7. I'll Be There in a Minute, Dear by fluffmelange

i was SO CLOSE to putting fluffmelange's "Leave No Trace of Yourself" here because that one is SO FUNNY but alas, this delightful fic barely won out in the end. you know what you should do? read both. fluffmelange is keeping us all fed with short and sweet fics that are so much fun to read. this one is a favorite simply because the premise is so goofy and simple but i could 100% see it being canon lol. we are in your capable hands @fluffmelange.

8. I've Been Throwing Bricks At Your Window Like There's No Better Way To Say Hello by thesmallestfishinthesea

this fic has such a silly and simply premise but i love it so so so much. it's about the three times yor forgets her keys (plus one extra time loid forgets!!!!) and it's so cute to have a view inside yor's (often frazzled) mind. i don't know what else to say other than READ IT RIGHT NOW!!! great work @smallest-fish-inthesea!

this is not all!! i really wanted to include the wonderful works of @whateversawesome, @briefhottubcoffee, @spencer-is-alive, luinel, and more (ao3 literally went out just as i was typing this UGH what awful timing) but i wanted to do something to give back to this awesome community. fun fact, today is my birthday and there's a tradition in my family where the birthday person gives presents to others. so this is my present to everyone!! thanks for everything you guys and here's to another great year!

oh oh oh one last thing, i tried to link everyone's tumblr if they have one, so if there's an author on here who has a tumblr that i didn't link, let me know and i'll link them.

okay! thanks everyone!

(ALSO DON'T MAKE FUN OF HOW DIFFERENT SOME OF THE DRAWING STYLES LOOK IN SOME OF THE ILLUSTRATIONS, I WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES AND THEY LOOK STUPID ALL PUT TOGETHER LEAVE ME ALONE😭😭😭😭😭😭)

[mikan-sei]

Beyond the Surface of Suo and Sakura’s relationship

**MANGA SPOILER WARNING**

This is my first post on this website, apologies if theres anything incoherent here. This post is also very simplified and lacks some information as I wanted to keep it as concise as possible. If you would like a full-blown analysis about their relationship, do let me know. I may consider making a complete writeup.

Contrary to popular belief about their “lack of interactions”, Suo and Sakura share many important and pivotal moments together scattered across the story. They may not have that big impactful moment compared to other dynamics in WBK (examples being Chika calling Endo by his full name, or Nirei yelling at Sakura in Noroshi, but we’ll get to that later), however they are important to their relationship and for their individual characters. There’s too many to list here, so I will keep it short.

From the start of Wind Breaker, Suo has always teased Sakura; even lying to him when they first meet:

We all know that Suo is a very unserious guy, and this aspect of his character is highlighted the most when it comes to his interactions with Sakura. He constantly pokes fun at him; blatantly lying to him with the sole purpose to mess with him and just being a general tease.

These aren’t even all the instances when Suo does this! I got lazy while compiling images (yes, theres *that* many moments where Suo teases Sakura), but I hope this paints a good perspective.

This makes Sakura thinks of him as “untrustworthy”, in a more lighthearted sense.

Infact, out of anyone else in the cast, Sakura is the only person who actively questions Suo’s character. (I’m not counting Tsugeura because their confrontation was a one time thing)

But here’s the thing: Even if Suo takes advantage of the fact that Sakura is gullible enough to believe anything just so he can mess with him, Sakura still relies on Suo.

He relies on him to come up with a strategic plan for their war, partners with Sugishita despite his initial reluctance, and even follows his advice on how to fight with others people (which works in his favor immensely during the beginning of Noroshi and while he works with Sugishita)

Theres also another moment I’d like to showcase (which is very underrated imo):

Here, we see Sakura taking the support of Suo’s shoulder in order to kick Endo in the face. We also see Suo defending Sakura a few moments ago as well.

Heres’s the thing: Sakura is an arial fighter. He can easily jump to certain heights by himself, much less be able to kick his opponents mid-air. He doesn’t require any support to lift his body upwards.

So why would Sakura do this?

It’s simple: Sakura trusts Suo, whether it be direct or subconsciously. And as his vice captain, Suo also trusts Sakura. Why would he appoint him as class captain if otherwise?

Their mutual trust plays a massive part in their relationship. There are many instances showing this aspect, but for now I will just analyze this iconic scene:

Both Sakura and Suo immediately jump into action in order to protect their friend, Nirei, from any immediate threat (Endo). They exchange no words, only a knowing glance to each other.

I believe that this page shows the essence of their relationship: Despite their petty banter and occasional disagreements, despite how less ‘open’ their relationship is, they are more often on the same wavelength than not.

They care for and trust each other immensely. However, many of their nuances are in hidden between the lines of their relationship due to the guarded nature of characters.

And it is with all these aspects combined that makes the Suo and Sakura duo appealing to many people.

TLDR: Suo and Sakura trust and care for each other a lot, despite their personal shortcomings and Suo incessantly messing with Sakura.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk. There was so much more I wanted to write about here (such as their flawed perspectives on each other, suo’s perspective on sakura, and how they uplift each other), but unfortunately Tumblr literally refused to upload most of my images and nuked half of this post bc it decided not to save the draft; hence the short analysis. If you have any additional thoughts, feel free to let me know :)

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

GINGERWREN'S PAYNELAND RECS 2024!

I can't believe we have had Charles and Edwin for less than a year. Even still, we've had a lot of fun! I wanted to share some fics, art, and gifs that made this year worth it for me personally. I was talking to a friend recently, and we noticed recent rec lists seem to be short, tag based lists with no real input from the list writer. Many of them also seem to rec the same few fics. Sometimes I feel left out as a smaller writer, and I know my favorite fics also don't always make it onto these lists either.

So, gentle reader, I will not be making a list of tags and summaries. You can read the tags on the fics and the art work, should you choose to view. I will be telling you why I love the works themselves. This is the best way I can think to recommend work to you.

Without further ado: the list is below.

WRITING

sweeter than honey from the rock - @dearheartdont

This lives rent free in my head. Literally in my mind this is like a lost episode or something. I do not want to spoil it or anything, but some of my favorite things in it are the world building (there are delightfully sympathetic clients, and witty antagonists), Charles does... exactly what one would expect Charles to do in order to help the client and protect everyone, and he makes things temporarily worse for himself. Rest assured though, there is a very, very satisfying resolution. Really, this is such a wonderful fic.

Winter Bloom - @skinnybritishdudes

PINK!!! EDWIN!!!! NOW!!!! This was my request for our server's Christmas exchange and it blew me out of the water. Genuinely, the magical mischief PLUS the subtle horror PLUS the absolute tenderness at the end?? Was everything I wanted, and more than I expected. Friendship ended with my own pink Edwin origin story. THIS is Pink Edwin now. Run don't walk for this one (as you can see, I still have not calmed down I am so excited about this one).

Nothing Left to Hide - @roseganymede95

I know I need to say more than "spider jar" but there's a point where I just start crying softly and going "spider jar" while I am reading. Honestly I'm sure if I said that to you, you would probably know which fic I'm referring to. It's this one. It's brilliant. It rewired my brain early on and I haven't been the same since. I found a spider jar pin because it may as well be canon in my mind. They call each other mine in the fic what more do I need to tell you to get you to read this? Join the spider jar cult with me.

right. never finished it.- taableclofh

A classic. Charles tries to save Edwin from Hell. He figures some things out in the process. (This is canon divergent in the best possible way and was a real balm on the soul, somehow).

molliculi (soft little things)- @williamvapespeare

This was made in a lab to make me cry specifically. The first time I finished reading it, it was two in the morning. I stared at my bedroom wall for like twenty minutes, bleary eyed, and then finally managed to type something to @williamvapespeare (who was really gracious about whatever mess I sent, lol). God fuck. It's a character study on Edwin. It's a history of living and dying in 1916. It's wondering what it means to continue on existing, but never have lived on with your peers. It's an outsider's perspective on Charles' trying to figure things out. Go. Go now. Suffer with me.

All Rights Reserved- @phoenix-soar

Do you like possessive Charles? (There's one right answer and it's yes). This fic is the fic. This also lives rent free in my brain. I wish I could say something more coherent but honestly I do not know how much I can say- well there is this lovely description where Charles compares Edwin's eyes to the sea on a stormy day (ao3 is sadly down, I cannot pull the full quote, but it was gorgeous). The rest... 🌶️🌶️🌶️

The Case of the Omegaverse Portal - miraworos

Omegaverse, as specified in the title. Also a very well written casefic, and some really satisfying feelings revelations. Once again: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

ART

Kiss (Blue) - @ent-is-indecisive

Genuinely A I am just amazed by how lovely all the kisses you draw are. Like they come out stunningly, over and over. I have no idea how you pull off this wizardry but it is amazing. Anyway I picked the first picture we ever talked about but I am also genuinely blown away whenever you drop something in LOMA

Collab Gifset For Payneland Week- @mellxncollie

I know you have all seen Olly's gifs. If you haven't, what are you even doing? (Maybe you're new here. That's okay). It's something special when Olly makes a gifset for your fic. Genuinely, sometimes I just go back and stare at this one because WOW THOSE ARE MY WORDS. BUT ON A GIF. Genuinely thanks for making my first year in the fandom special Olly.

Pink Slip- @arisprite

Ari was super great during the flash sketch commissions and we had a blast. Now this reminds me of ongoing convos that @majorlb @deadboyslullaby and I have (and perhaps one day we will do something more with those) but the point here is Ari is great. You all should go and appreciate the wide range of payneland she has made. Her fem!payneland is dazzling, and so is her sad boy Charles (which I think is the first piece I ever fell in love with).

RITUALS - @deadboyslullaby

THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE. This was a collaboration with @likemmmcookies . @deadboyslullaby worked really hard on the inscription around the edges for this one and I am forever in awe of all the little details here. I want more of them doing strange, arcane stuff together always.

ORBWIN IN CHARLES’ RIBS- @jube-art

This is absolutely what I think is going on when one of them is orbing and the other isn't. No I am not taking feedback. Once more, this was a piece of art that re-wired my brain early on. Ribs are for lovers.

BONUS:

Feathers and Fur - merle_p

Super secret rare pair that rewired how my brain works forever. I love you catcrow. I love you Monty that's a little bit depressed a little bit of a masochist. I love you Thomas who can't help but take in strays but still has teeth and hasn't been declawed in this fic. This fic is just... so... gorgeous*chef's kiss*. I won't spoil it for you, but I implore you to read it so I have more people to talk about this pairing with.

These were all my recs for now. Thank you Dead Boy Detective fandom 2024! We may have had some bumps in the road, but here's to a strong and healthy 2025!

[ao3-shenanigans]

I have a confession, and a question. I have rewritten my longest fic to-date a total of six times and have an entire extended universe planned. The problem is, I only make progress if I'm writing it out by hand. The slower pace of writing with a pen or pencil forces me to pause and think far more often than typing and makes it much easier to deal with grammar and spelling errors down the road. It also has the great side effect of helping to keep Writer's Block from taking hold. How do you deal with writer's block?

Ah man, writers block hits me so hard!

Some tips and tricks I’ve heard that help:

1. Make a short-term outline

- maybe not the whole plot but rather a short scene or set of scenes. Ex:

(1) Character A picks a fight -> (2) Character A looses fight -> (3) Character B finds them and takes care of them

2. Make a list of things you would want to read in a fic

- be self indulgent! This is your fic after all!

- listing moments you’d like to have can sometimes get the creative flow excited again

Ex: Jon and Martin kiss, someone calls Elias a Saucy Minx and he has to put up with it, Sasha gets to stab Peter, Tim gets to have a sick day where people take care of him

3. Write scenes out of order!

- write that sappy epilogue first if you want!

- stab that sad little man! Figure out why it happened later!

4. Write a few sentences or scenes from a different perspective

- can be that of a different character, an animal watching, a passerby or even an inanimate object! 

5. Write with a friend! Co-authoring a fic or even parallel writing can help with motivation

6. Write a one shot while taking a break from Your main project!

- sometimes something short and sweet can get the dopamine flowing again

7. Write by hand!

- the old notebook trick!

- or even changing the font sometimes helps!

8. Don’t allow yourself to edit or fix typos!

- let yourself ramble on to the page for a bit! You can’t edit what’s not there!

9. Read someone else’s work!

- fanfic or traditionally published work! Mix it up!

10. Re-engage with the source material!

- remember your roots!

11. Change the weather!

- maybe the fight isn’t working in the rain, but how about sleet or snow? Searing desert heat?

12. Change the format of the fic

- try writing it in second person or as a screen play

13. Leave bits out

- start with only the dialogue or only the setting descriptions

14. Talk it through with a friend or fandom buddy!

- explain the story and ask them questions, brainstorm answers together

15. Remember that it doesn’t need to be perfect!

- getting fixated on plot holes or mischaracterization can be detrimental to enjoying the act of creation that writing is

- as fanfic readers, we genuinely don’t mind that much; its the whole “Holy shit two cakes!!” situation, the fact that you’re willing to share this thing you’ve written and labored over with us for free is a gift in and of itself

- have fun! Be silly! Don’t fret about it!

[sherewrytes]

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 6

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he���s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki  @helightknight21 @dylsw @ria-s-writes @sleepymothafterhours 

if you wanna be added to the tag list comment

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Here is another chapter cause I'm still writing out the other fics right now :)

Previous

Chapter 6: The Weight of Loss

Y/N’s POV

It’s almost comical how different my life feels when I’m at school compared to when I’m at home. At Pratt, I’m a student, focused, and driven, with an entire future ahead of me. The campus is buzzing with the usual energy—students chatting, the sound of sketch pads flipping, the hum of distant studio lights. But the weight of everything outside these walls presses down on me more with each passing day.

It’s been weeks or days since the breakup with Sukuna.The loss of our relationship feels longer than the time we actually broke up but it feels like the echo of it still reverberates in everything I do. I’m trying to push forward, trying to act like I’m okay, but the reality is… I’m not. I haven’t been okay for a while.

The work in front of me should be enough to distract me. Finals are coming up, and my portfolio still feels like it needs a hundred more hours of attention before it’s anywhere near perfect. But I can’t stop my mind from drifting back to that night—his touch, his voice, the way he looked at me when he left, the pain in his eyes I couldn’t fix.

I sit in one of the studio rooms, surrounded by scraps of fabric and sketches, trying to focus on the design I need to complete for my final project. My hand trembles as I draw out another silhouette. It’s difficult to concentrate, especially when my phone buzzes on the table.

I don’t even need to look to know if it's from Utahime. She’s been checking in on me regularly. She doesn’t understand everything, but she knows enough to ask if I’m okay.

I pick up my phone, hesitating for a moment before responding. Yeah, I’m good. Just a lot of work to get through.

It’s a lie, but I don’t want to burden her with the truth. Everyone has their own problems, and I don’t want to be the one who drags them down.

I scroll through the texts, my heart dropping when I see a message from Toji. It’s just a short note, nothing particularly alarming. Sukuna's in the hospital. He’s okay, but he had a breakdown. You might want to check on him.

I read it three times before I let it sink in.

Sukuna’s in the hospital.

I bite my lip, the sting of old wounds coming back. What’s going on with him? Why does everything feel like it’s falling apart? I don’t even know how I feel anymore. I spent so much time loving him, fighting with him, then pushing him away, only for him to spiral deeper into whatever this is. And now, he’s in the hospital… alone?

I don’t even have the right to care, do I?

I put my phone down, my hands running through my hair as I try to make sense of it all. What should I do?

There’s a knock at the door, and I look up, startled. Utahime enters with a cup of coffee in her hand. She smiles when she sees me but then stops when she notices the look on my face. She doesn’t even need to ask.

“Something’s wrong,” she says gently, placing the coffee down in front of me.

I swallow hard, my throat dry. “Sukuna’s in the hospital,” I say quietly. The words feel so surreal coming out of my mouth.

Utahime doesn’t speak for a moment, just nods, as if she knew this might happen. “You’re thinking about going, aren’t you?” she asks, her voice soft.

I shake my head, my chest tightening. “I don’t even know what I’d say to him, Utahime. I—” I stop, the emotions threatening to spill over. “He played with my feelings, and I let him. I gave him everything, and now... now look at us.”

She sits next to me, her presence comforting. “You don’t have to go to him if you’re not ready,” she says, her hand gently brushing mine. “But don’t ignore what your heart is telling you. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in anger or pride, but if you care about him, and you think he needs you—maybe you should go. Just to know he’s okay.”

I stare at the coffee in front of me, the steam rising gently. I feel so torn. Part of me wants to throw it all away and run to him, to make things right, but the other part is terrified of what that would mean.

“I’m just… so tired, Utahime. Tired of trying to fix everything,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “And I don’t think I can keep doing this. I don’t want to keep getting hurt.”

She leans back in her chair, giving me space. “You don’t have to fix him. You just have to decide what’s best for you. It’s okay to care about him, but it’s also okay to take a step back. You don’t owe him anything.”

I nod slowly, but the weight in my chest doesn’t lift. If anything, it feels heavier.

As much as I want to ignore the message, as much as I want to pretend everything’s fine and keep moving forward, I know deep down that the story isn’t finished yet. But the question is, how do I make peace with it? How do I let go of the part of me that still wants him in my life?

I guess I’m going to have to figure it out, even if it hurts.

I stare at the message from Toji, my thumb hovering over the reply button. I could feel the tension building in my chest, the pull to cave in and see him, to check on Sukuna, to offer whatever comfort I could. But I can’t. I won’t.

I text back quickly, trying to keep my answer as firm as possible, even though doubt gnaws at me. Yes. I’m sure.

I put my phone down and take another sip of the coffee Utahime bought for me. The warmth soothes me, but it’s not enough to quell the rising discomfort I feel. Maybe I’m running away from something I should confront, but every time I think about him—about everything that happened—my chest tightens. I know I’m not ready to face him.

Mei Mei sits beside me, her usual confident and laid-back demeanor a welcome distraction. She smiles at me, her eyes bright despite the obvious tension in the air. “I heard you’ve been dealing with some drama,” she teases, nudging my shoulder playfully. “You always seem to attract it, huh?”

I laugh, but it’s hollow. “Yeah, it seems like it. Just trying to get through finals without any more drama.”

She leans back in her chair, clearly not convinced. “If you say so, but I’ve known you long enough to know when something’s bothering you.” She raises an eyebrow. “You’re not fooling anyone. What’s going on?”

I set the coffee down, rubbing my forehead. Mei Mei’s known me for years. She doesn’t give up easily, especially when it comes to stuff I’d rather keep to myself.

“It’s… complicated,” I say, sighing deeply. “Sukuna’s in the hospital.”

Mei Mei’s expression softens. “Hospital? What happened?”

I explain the basics—the fallout from our breakup, his breakdown, and the fact that it seems he’s been spiraling for months. As I talk, it feels like I’m peeling back a layer of myself I’ve been trying to keep hidden.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” I continued, my voice shaking slightly. “But now… I just feel like I made it worse.”

Mei Mei listens, her face serious. When I finish, she doesn’t say anything at first. She just looks at me for a long time, her eyes calculating, like she’s trying to figure something out.

“You can’t keep carrying his weight, Y/N,” she says gently, her tone softer than I expected. “He’s not your responsibility anymore. I get that you care, but sometimes stepping back is the healthiest thing you can do—for both of you.”

I nod, trying to hold it together, but her words sink deep into my chest. I know she’s right. If I keep going back to him, trying to fix things that aren’t mine to fix, I’ll just keep breaking myself in the process. But knowing that doesn’t make the choice any easier.

I reach for my phone again, checking for another message. There’s one from Toji.

Y/N, I know you’re upset. I get it. But you need to understand he’s really struggling. He’s not the same guy anymore. Please, just think about it. He’s not okay.

I feel the weight of the message, the silent plea in his words. It almost makes me want to go. But no. I made my decision.

I turn my phone face down, looking back at Mei Mei. “I’m done with it. I need to focus on my future. On me.”

She smiles, a little proud of me. “Good. It’s about time. You’re a strong woman, Y/N. Don’t forget that.”

I lean back in my chair, feeling the exhaustion from the last few months hit me all at once. Finals are coming, and I don’t have the luxury of letting my emotions run the show anymore. I have to finish this. For me.

But even as I sit there, I can’t ignore the small ache in my heart, the part of me that still cares, that wonders what could have been. For a fleeting moment, I let myself imagine a different reality, one where everything with Sukuna was easier, where we were happy and I didn’t have to make these impossible decisions.

But that’s not my reality. Not anymore.

Toji's POV

I stare at the screen of my phone, Y/N’s last text still lingering in front of me. Yes. I’m sure.

The words hit harder than I expected. I knew she wasn’t going to just drop everything and run to Sukuna, but hearing it from her directly… it stings. She’s shutting him out, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Nothing any of us can do.

I glance over at Sukuna, still out cold in the hospital bed, his breathing steady for now. He’s been through hell these past few days, and I hate to admit it, but I’m worried. Despite all his bullshit, the bravado he puts up like a fucking wall, he’s broken. And it’s not just the aftermath of Jin’s death or the guilt he carries around like a fucking anchor. It’s more than that.

I thought, maybe if Y/N came, it would snap him back. But she’s not coming.

I let out a slow breath, running a hand through my hair. The room feels too quiet now, even with the constant beep of the heart monitor in the background. The silence between me and Sukuna is almost deafening, and I can’t shake the sense of impending disaster that hangs in the air.

I think about what Y/N said—how she couldn’t keep carrying his weight. And part of me gets it. She’s right. I told her before that Sukuna wasn’t the only one who needed to get his shit together, but I guess… I didn’t expect her to walk away. Not like this. Not after everything.

I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if we’d all handled this differently. If we had talked more, not let everything fester. Maybe she wouldn’t have had to make that decision. Maybe Sukuna wouldn’t be lying here, broken and lost. And I wouldn’t be standing here, feeling fucking useless.

Sukuna murmurs in his sleep, his hand twitching slightly, and I look back at him. He looks so different when he’s not putting on that mask. I can see the fear, the guilt, everything he hides away in his waking hours. It’s all on display when he’s vulnerable, like this.

He whispers something under his breath, and I lean in closer, straining to hear him.

“Y/N… I’m sorry…”

His voice cracks, soft and fragile. He doesn’t even know I’m here. Doesn’t know I’m watching him break down piece by piece. But I heard it. He said her name.

It’s fucking killing me to watch him like this.

I stand up, running my hand over my face, trying to shake off the weight of everything. I can’t do this. I can’t fix this. No matter how many times I try to tell myself that this is his fight, not mine, I can’t stop feeling like I’m responsible. We all are.

I check my phone again. Y/N hasn’t replied. I don’t expect her to. She’s made up her mind, and honestly, I don’t know what I would say if she did respond.

All I can do is sit here and wait, hoping that Sukuna pulls himself out of this hole he’s dug. He’s going to need all the help he can get, but I’m not sure I can even be that for him anymore.

I glance back at him one last time before walking out of the room. Whatever happens next is out of our hands. I just hope for his sake, he’s not too far gone to fix it.

I step out of the room, needing some space to breathe, even though the weight of everything is still pressing down on me. My phone buzzes again. Another message from Y/N. I don’t look at it. I can’t. Not right now.

The hallway feels emptier than usual, and I’m just about to sit down when I hear footsteps approaching. I glance up, already knowing who it is before I see their faces. Gojo’s impossible to miss, his presence like a fucking storm in the calm. And right behind him, Geto, walking with that same quiet intensity he always carries. They're holding bags in each hand, the smell of fast food wafting into the air.

Gojo gives me a lazy grin like he's just come back from a fun afternoon instead of dealing with a pile of shit that’s only getting worse.

“Got you something.” He waves the KFC sandwich in the air, the crispy fried chicken peeking out from the wrapper. “Figured you could use something real to eat. You’ve been looking like you’ve been living off hospital snacks.”

I glance at him, but I’m not in the mood for a joke. I just stare at the sandwich for a second before nodding. “Thanks.”

Geto just raises an eyebrow and slides a bottle of cold Coca-Cola into my hand. "It’s cold. Thought you could use a little sweetness with all this shit."

I didn't answer immediately. Instead, I take the sandwich, unwrap it, and take a small bite. The taste is oddly comforting, and for a moment, it feels a little bit of normal. But only for a second. My mind is still a million miles away, locked on Sukuna, on Y/N, on everything that’s been happening. I can’t seem to get a grip.

Gojo leans against the wall casually, clearly unaffected by anything going on, while Geto remains quiet, eyes focused like he’s waiting for me to crack. The silence stretches, uncomfortable in its own way.

"Is he awake?" Gojo asks, breaking the tension, his voice light but his eyes searching mine for an answer.

I take another bite of the sandwich and sigh, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Yeah, but he’s not really there. Talking in his sleep… saying her name. Y/N."

The mention of her name hangs in the air for a moment, and I watch as Gojo’s expression shifts slightly. He doesn’t show it often, but I know he can’t be completely oblivious to what’s happening. Not with how tightly he and Sukuna have been bound, even when things were rough.

“I’m sure he’s just… in his head,” Gojo says after a pause, trying to sound nonchalant but clearly struggling with his own thoughts. “He’s got a lot of shit on his plate.”

Geto’s expression hardens slightly. “He’s not the only one, Gojo. Y/N’s been through her own hell. She’s not just some side character in his story. It’s never been that simple.”

“Yeah, I know,” Gojo mutters, though he doesn’t seem entirely convinced by Geto’s words. He glances back at the door where Sukuna lies, still deep in his own turmoil. “We all know what happened between them. It’s fucked up, but that doesn’t change what he’s going through.”

The words cut through the tension like a blade. I swallow the rest of the sandwich, my stomach growing heavier with the implications of their statements. The more I think about it, the more it feels like we’ve all fucked up in our own ways. We’ve all allowed this to spiral out of control, and now, we’re left picking up the pieces.

“I get that he’s hurting,” I say, voice tight, “but what do we do now? What can we even do? She’s not coming, Gojo. She’s done.”

The words feel bitter in my mouth, even though I know they’re true. Sukuna has lost her, and there’s no going back.

Gojo and Geto exchange a look, the silence dragging on as the weight of the situation settles in. Gojo pops the cap off his own bottle of Coke, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“You just keep pushing forward,” Gojo says after a moment. “You don’t get to wallow in this shit. That’s not how it works, Toji. You just keep moving forward. That's all you can do.”

I’m about to respond when I hear a low murmur coming from Sukuna’s room. The door creaks open slightly, and I glance toward it, the worry clawing at my insides again. Gojo stands up and gives me a pointed look.

“Let’s go see how he’s doing,” he says, voice more serious now, and I can hear the weight of his words.

We all walk to the room, our steps heavy with the unspoken truths we’ve been avoiding. Inside, Sukuna stirs in the bed, his eyes barely open but wide enough to see the panic in his gaze.

“Y/N,” he whispers, almost like a prayer, his hand gripping the bed sheets tightly.

The room feels cold as we stand there, watching him struggle with the demons only he knows. His words hang in the air like a knife, cutting through the silence.

“Maybe we can fix this,” Gojo mutters softly, more to himself than anyone else. "But not like this."

I watch Sukuna’s face, the same man who used to be full of fire and rage, now broken. Maybe Gojo’s right—maybe we keep pushing forward. But even I know, with everything that’s happened, there’s no easy fix to the mess we’ve created.

Sukuna's POV

I’m trapped in the in-between, stuck in the land of the awake but not living. I can hear them talking, but my mind refuses to connect. Every word that escapes their lips feels like a blur, and I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about Y/N or Jin or my own damn self.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor is the only thing grounding me in reality, reminding me that I'm still here, still breathing, even if it feels like everything else is slipping through my fingers. The voices swirl around me, but none of them cut through the fog in my mind. Not even Gojo’s voice, not even Geto’s.

Y/N. 

Her name lingers in the air like an echo I can’t escape. It’s all I can think about. How I fucked things up. How I hurt her. How I lost her. I can’t get away from the image of her, standing there in her apartment, looking at me with those eyes—those brown eyes I used to drown in. Eyes that no longer saw me the same. Eyes that were filled with pain.

My stomach churns. I want to scream, but the words catch in my throat.

My younger brothers.

Yuuji. Choso.

I’m supposed to be their older brother. I’m supposed to be strong for them. They’ve lost so much already, and I can’t afford to lose them, too. But if I keep spiraling like this—if I let this guilt eat me alive, if I let my demons drag me under—then what happens to them? What happened to me?

I’m supposed to protect them, but I’m barely holding myself together. I can’t keep breaking like this. I can’t keep letting everything fall apart just because I don’t know how to deal with the shit that’s happened.

I’m supposed to be better. Better for them.

But how? How do I fix this? How do I fix myself when everything feels broken beyond repair?

I hear Gojo again, his voice louder this time. "He's just... lost in his head right now. We can't help him until he helps himself." It’s all I need to hear to understand that I’m not getting any sympathy here. Not from any of them. They know me too well.

And maybe that's what I need.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping to block out the pain. Maybe if I don’t open them, I won’t have to face the reality of what I’ve become. A broken man. A fuck-up.

But the truth is, I can’t run forever. I can’t stay in this fog of regret and self-loathing. I don’t want to be this version of myself. Not for my brothers, not for anyone. I’ve been here too many times before. Spiraling, falling, too afraid to face what’s staring me in the face. I’ve always been this way. But I can’t afford to be anymore.

I can’t let myself be the reason they lose me. Not when I still have a chance to fix it.

I hear Geto’s voice again, softer this time. "Sukuna... we’re here. But you need to come back. Come back to us." His words hit me harder than I expected, and I feel the weight of them pressing down on my chest. Come back to us.

I’m not sure how, but for the first time in what feels like forever, I let myself feel something other than numbness. A crack in the wall I’ve built around myself. A tiny opening to a possibility that maybe—just maybe—I can still get out of this.

But first, I have to face the one thing I’ve been running from.

I have to face myself.

“Y/N,” I whisper to no one in particular, my voice hoarse, rough. "I'm sorry."

I don’t expect anyone to hear it. Hell, I’m not even sure I believe it yet. But it’s the first step. And for now, that’s all I can give.

I open my eyes slowly, squinting at the harsh fluorescent lights above. The hospital room is sterile and unfamiliar, and for a second, I forget where I am. But then it all comes flooding back—the weight of my actions, the destruction I’ve left in my wake, and the realization that I can’t keep hiding from it.

I don't even remember when I said it, but those two words still echo in my mind: I'm sorry. They were the first words I’ve said aloud in what feels like forever, but they carry so much weight. So much guilt.

I sit up slowly, feeling the ache in my chest. I’m not sure if it’s from the panic attack, the guilt, or just the overwhelming sense of being broken. But whatever it is, it makes it hard to breathe, to think. To feel.

Gojo is still here, his presence just as obnoxious as ever. But there's something about him being here that gives me a sense of stability like maybe he doesn’t expect me to be perfect, but he’s still here, regardless. And Geto... Geto is just sitting there, staring at me like he’s waiting for me to get my shit together. Maybe he’s right. Maybe they both are.

“Fuck,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "How did I get here?"

Geto looks up from his phone, catching my eye for the first time in what feels like forever. “You’ve been here, Sukuna. You know the drill. You need to pull yourself together, for them.” His voice is calm, but there’s an edge to it. He’s tired, I can tell. We all are.

“Yeah,” I replied, my voice cracking. "For them."

It’s a mantra I’ve been repeating to myself for weeks now—for them. For Yuuji and Choso. They’ve lost so much already, and I can’t be the one to break.

But I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know how to fix this. How do I rebuild what I’ve destroyed? How do I fix myself when I’m not even sure who I am anymore?

Gojo leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You’re not alone in this, you know.” His words are blunt, but there’s something softer in his eyes. He doesn’t say it often, but I can see it. The understanding.

"I know." I don’t meet his gaze, my eyes locked on the floor. It’s easier that way. “But I still fucked up, Gojo. I messed it all up.”

Geto sighs heavily, shaking his head. "You didn't just mess it up. But that doesn't mean it’s over. You’ve got to take responsibility for it, man. For her... and yourself."

For a moment, I don’t know what to say. The words feel like they’re stuck in my throat. But then I think of Y/N. Her face, her eyes... the way she looked at me when I ruined everything. I see her pain in every single interaction we had before it all came crashing down. I can still feel it. The way she’d retreat from me, the way she’d pull away. And the way I never truly let her in.

"I didn’t mean for it to go like this," I finally whispered. "I never meant to hurt her."

“You need to talk to her, if she’ll allow it” Geto says, standing up and moving closer. “And if she’s willing, maybe... maybe you can fix it. But you have to start with yourself first.”

I feel the weight of his words, like he’s trying to lift me out of the quicksand I’ve been sinking into. But I’m stuck. I’m stuck in the guilt, in the shame, in the regret.

“What if she doesn’t want me back?” I ask, barely above a whisper. "What if I’ve already ruined it too much?"

"You won’t know unless you try," Gojo says, stepping forward. “You can’t undo the past, but you can at least try to make the future better. For her. For you.”

I feel something shift inside me, something small but significant. Maybe it’s hope. Maybe it’s just the desperation that’s been eating away at me. I don’t know. But it’s there, and for the first time, I let myself feel it.

Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe, just maybe, I can start rebuilding—starting with myself. I have to try. For Y/N. For Yuuji. For Choso. For me.

I stand up, feeling the weight of my body shift. My legs feel weak, but I force myself to stay upright. Geto watches me carefully as if waiting for me to collapse, but I don’t. Not this time.

I might not have all the answers, but I know one thing for sure.

I’m done running from it.

“I’ll fix it,” I murmur, barely believing the words myself. But I have to say it. I have to believe it.

For the first time in a long while, I don’t feel so alone. Maybe I’m not as far gone as I thought. Maybe I can still fight my way back from this.

Maybe I can still be the man I used to be.

the nurse filled in, "We tried to contact your emergency contact yn ln but they didnt respond. Do you have anyone who can keep an eye on you?

The nurse’s words hang in the air, thick with unspoken tension. I feel the room grow heavier as they linger, and I find myself grasping for a response. Y/N’s name still feels like a foreign sound on my lips.

I open my mouth to speak, but the words don’t come. What would I even say? She won’t answer me anymore. Not after what I did. The silence stretches between us, suffocating.

"I have—" I start, but the weight of it stops me.

Before I can finish the sentence, Toji speaks up, his voice cutting through the thick air like a knife.

"You can take my information. What do I need to know?"

I look up at him, and for the first time in what feels like days, I feel a bit of relief. Toji, as blunt as he is, never lets me down. He’s been here since the start, and I know, deep down, he’s always had my back, even when I didn’t deserve it.

The nurse nods, taking out her tablet and entering Toji’s information with practiced ease. It’s almost like they’ve done this a thousand times before, and maybe they have. Maybe they’re used to people like me. People who screw up their lives and end up here, needing a reminder that they’re not completely gone yet. That there's still a chance.

But I don’t know if I believe that.

I watch the nurse leave, and the silence settles back into the room like a heavy blanket. Toji stands there, looking at me with something between concern and resignation. He doesn’t need to say anything. I know exactly what he’s thinking.

"Stop blaming yourself," Toji finally says, his voice low, but firm. “You're not in this mess alone, and you’re not gonna fix it overnight. But you’ve gotta stop running from it, or you'll end up buried.”

I can feel his eyes on me, watching for any sign of weakness, but I can’t give him that. I can’t give anyone that. Not after everything.

"I know," I mutter, my voice barely audible.

Toji shrugs and moves to the side, making space in the small hospital room. "We all fucked up, Sukuna. But it’s not the end of the world. You’re still here."

The words settle somewhere deep inside me, somewhere I didn’t even know was still capable of feeling something. I look away, pretending the words don’t hit me the way they do.

But I can’t stop thinking about Y/N.

Her face. Her eyes. How she would look at me when I failed her. The way she pulled away.

I failed her.

But I still want to fix it. God, I want to fix it so badly that it hurts.

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that. I’m not sure if it’s even possible. But for the first time in months, I feel like I can try. I have to try.

For me. For her. For everyone I’ve hurt.

“Thanks,” I say to Toji, my voice gruff and unsteady. "For doing this... for me."

He doesn’t respond right away, just gives me a sharp look like he’s waiting for me to crumble again.

But I don’t.

Not this time.

Instead, I stand up slowly, feeling the weight of my legs beneath me. There’s no escape now. No more running from my mistakes. No more hiding. I have to face this.

And maybe... just maybe, I can start with making things right.

For once, I don’t feel like I’m completely drowning. But the battle is far from over.

"I’ll make it right," I say softly to myself, more than to Toji.

The words feel fragile like I’m trying to piece together a shattered mirror. But I have to try.

I won’t be the man I used to be. I can’t go back to that.

But maybe, just maybe, I can be someone worth loving again.

For Y/N. For everyone I’ve hurt.

And for myself.

I’m finally being released from the hospital. The sterile white walls feel like they’re closing in as the nurses hand me a prescription for the medications I’m supposed to take. But I don't care about that right now. I just want to go home. I just want to breathe again.

The ride back to the apartment feels like it takes hours. The air in the car is heavy with the weight of everything I've done, everything I’ve messed up. I haven’t spoken a word the whole way. Toji’s driving, the only sound between us was the soft hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of the road beneath the tires.

When we get to the apartment, I’m not sure what to expect. The door’s wide open when I walk in, and there’s Choso, pacing back and forth. His voice rises, sharp and full of frustration as he glances over at me. His eyes are bloodshot like he hasn’t slept in days, and I know it’s because of me.

"Sukuna!" Choso shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, his face a mix of anger, pain, and worry. “What the hell were you thinking?! You scared the shit out of us, man!”

I flinch at his words, the sting of them going deeper than I want to admit. But I don’t say anything. I don’t have a defense, not for this. I can’t make it better with a few words. So, I stand there, silent, my head hanging low.

Yuuji’s sitting in the corner of the room, his eyes glued to the floor, his friends Megumi and Nobara beside him, looking as stressed as he is. The weight of it all crashes into me. I did this to them. I’ve been selfish, and it’s clear they’re carrying this burden with me.

Yuuji finally looks up, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm glad you're home, bro."

His words don’t hit me like I expect them to. Instead of feeling the relief I thought I’d get from hearing him, I just feel hollow. I’ve caused too much damage to fix it with just a few words. He shouldn't have to say that. I shouldn’t be the one causing him so much pain.

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” I mutter, the bitterness slipping out before I can stop it. "It’s not like I’ve been some fucking good example for you, right?"

Toji steps up beside me, his presence grounding. “That’s enough,” he says, his tone low but firm. “He’s home, and that’s what matters. Stop making this harder than it needs to be.”

Choso doesn’t let up though, his hands on his hips as he glares at me. "You’ve been running from everything, running from us, from yourself. We were worried you were gonna fucking end up dead, and now you’re back, but are you even gonna stay back?"

I want to answer him, to tell him that I’m trying, that I’m going to get better. But I know he won’t believe me. None of them will. Not after everything.

"Look," I say, my voice thick. "I’m sorry. I’ve fucked up, and I can’t fix everything in a day. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere right now."

It’s all I can offer, and I know it’s not enough, but it’s all I’ve got. I can’t be the man I was before. I can’t just wipe away all the mistakes I made with a simple apology. But maybe I can try to be better.

Yuuji stands up slowly and walks over to me. I brace myself, waiting for him to yell, for him to say something harsh. But when he reaches me, he simply pats me on the back, like he’s trying to offer something I don’t deserve.

“It’s good to have you back, Sukuna,” Yuuji says quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat growing. I don’t know if I’m crying or not. But it sure feels like it. Maybe this is the first step in making things right. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, for Yuuji, for Choso... and Y/N.

The tears come without warning, falling like a flood. I feel them before I even know they’re coming, a warm rush down my face, blurring my vision. I can’t stop them. Not anymore. I’ve been holding everything in for so long, trying to keep the pieces of myself together, trying to be the strong one for my brothers. But I can’t do it anymore.

My knees give way, and I drop to the floor, the weight of everything—of all the things I’ve lost, of all the things I’ve fucked up—crushing me. My chest aches, tight, like it’s too small to hold all the guilt, all the pain.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter through gritted teeth, though I don’t know if I’m saying it to Choso or Yuuji or even myself. My voice cracks, the rawness of it is unfamiliar and painful. “Jin’s gone because of me... and Grandpa... he’s gone. They’re both gone.”

The tears come faster, like a storm I can’t outrun. I can’t hold it together anymore. Not for anyone. Not for them. Not for myself.

I hear Choso’s footsteps, feel his arms around me as he pulls me up, but I don’t want to be touched. Not right now. I want to crawl into a hole and disappear, to not have to face any of this, to not have to be the one who let them all down.

“Grandpa's funeral,” I whisper, my voice ragged. “Our parents didn’t even show up. They didn’t care. They never did.”

The words sting, but it’s the truth. The truth that I’ve been running from for years. Our parents left us. They abandoned us, and the only one who was there, who gave a shit, was Granpa. And now he’s gone, too.

“I’m tired of holding this in,” I choke out. “I can’t keep pretending to be the fucking strong one. I’m... not strong. I’m broken.”

I look up at Choso, and his face is pale, but his expression is gentle. I can see the hurt in his eyes, but there’s something else there too: understanding. He knows. He knows what it’s like to lose, to feel like you’re drowning in your own shit. And maybe he’s the only one who can truly get it.

I look over at Yuuji, and his face is full of concern. He’s standing in the corner of the room, silent, but I know the words are there, sitting heavy on his tongue. He doesn’t need to say anything, though. The fact that he’s here—just here—means more than words ever could.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” I say, my voice low and broken. “I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want to let everyone down. I don’t want to keep losing people.”

But I’m scared. Scared of what it will take to fix all this. Scared of how much of myself I’ll have to break in the process.

“I’m so fucking tired,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper. 

Choso pulls me close, his hands gripping my shoulders as if he can somehow hold me together. “You don’t have to have it all figured out, Sukuna. We’re here. You’re not alone in this. You never were.”

His words hit me like a lifeline, but the truth is, I don’t know if I deserve it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the person they want me to be.

But I know one thing: I can’t keep drowning in my own shit. I have to try to be better. Even if it’s just for a little while.

I’m home. But the journey to redemption? That’s just the beginning.

[bwat5-blog]

A Heart Imprisoned: Vi's Time In Stillwater

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Vi is all of fifteen years old, when she is kidnapped by the Sheriff of Piltover himself and thrown into the bowels of Stillwater prison. There she will spend seven years of horror, isolation, abuse, and fear. Accused of no crime, with her name not even on the record, she has no hope of escape or mercy until the naïve rookie Enforcer who will change her life comes to her cell.

What I want to try and delve into today, is the impact these seven years have on Vi as a person. Vi continues to be one of the most grossly misunderstood characters in this show. Even now I can come up with no logical explanation as to why, but that's okay. I don't think logic plays a big part in the anti-Vi crowd's day-to-day anyway. But! Still we soldier on, and hopefully by the end of this I can illuminate a tragic part of this remarkable character's story in a worthwhile way, and lend even more to the cause of helping see the humanity in her story.

Lead Up:

I have covered the events of Vi's childhood in heavy detail in other documents. So here, I will just run down a quick list for understanding.

Sees death of birth parents on bridge of progress: Age 9

Spends 6 years as part of family with Powder, Vander, Mylo and Claggor: Age 9 - Age 15

Vander, Mylo and Claggor all die violently in front of her. She barely survives brawl with more than ten armed thugs working for Silco, she is wounded during incident, she is separated from Powder in traumatic manner that leaves her ravaged by guilt.

Imprisoned for seven years until Caitlyn Kiramman frees her: Age 15 - Age 22.

To say Vi's life even before Stillwater has been harsh is a mild understatement to say the least. She begins her story in tragedy. And even though Vander and her siblings love her, the undercity is a hard and dangerous place to grow up. She is not saying things like "wanna see how that ends" to a knife wielding attacker at fifteen years of age because her life has been easy.

We also need to review a few telling things about Vi before her imprisonment to better understand the teenage girl who is sent to Stillwater.

"When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish.. whatever happens, its on you"- This lesson of Vander's will come to haunt Vi's life for years. He gives her this speech entirely from a place of love and support, talking to her about being aware of the consequences of her decisions as the other kids look up to her. But when things go so..so wrong. Vi internalizes this to the point that she is unable to move on from the guilt of what occurred.

"I grew up knowing I'm less than them, that my place is down there. I want Powder to have more than that, and I'm willing to fight for it."- Take note of what she says. She doesn't protest that she isn't less than.. only that she wants Powder to have more. Vi tells us so early that she doesn't see more for herself. Only more for those that she loves, and that she is willing to bleed for it. And she will... over and over..

"I know you wanna hurt the topsiders for what they've done to us. But who are you willing to lose?"- Again, another of Vander's lessons that Vi tries to take to heart. it leads her to try and make the right decision to protect those she loves, and through no fault of her own ends with Vander taken, and Benzo and Grayson dead. She tried to stop fighting. Tried to lead with her heart and the world crushed her as a reward.

"You've got a good heart. Don't ever lose it. No matter how the world tries to break you"- See above.

"Take Care of Powder"- Again, this one is tough. Vander's last words to Vi are not of comfort to her, but instructing her. I am NOT bagging on Vander. Had things not gotten even worse Vi would have been the leader of their family now and Vander knew she could do it and was trying to help her be strong. Unfortunately, because things go so terribly, all it is is another source of guilt driving Vi into the dark.

Losing Powder:

Tragically, Powder in an attempt to save her families life detonates a monkey bomb that kills Mylo and Claggor, and initiates the series of events leading to Vander's death as well. All when they were so close to escape. Powder is a little girl. this is NOT her fault. And she is shocked when she comes around the corner to meet Vi's rage instead of praise...

But as I have stated. Vi was only fifteen and having been through all that she had, lashes out at her little sister. Hitting her, calling her a jinx, and aggressively grabbing her face before walking away in horror at her actions, stolen by Marcus before she can make it right.

Conclusion: So what does that all mean in a nutshell? A fifteen year old girl who has already lived a life of loss, and violence, has her entire family taken away her violently in one night, save for the little sister she feels she has betrayed. She is then thrown in a terrible, hellish prison, with the only thing to focus on being the loss of her family, Vander's lessons, and how she believes she failed him, her brothers, and most importantly, her sister.

"I spent so many nights, in that shitty prison. On the freezing floor, hungry, bloody, counting the hours. The only thing.. the only thing that kept me going was the thought of getting back to you."

In Stillwater:

Thankfully for all of us who don't hate this character for breathing, we see none of what happens to her while she is in here outright. But there are a few things we know:

She is routinely assaulted- When she and Caitlyn are speaking she says to just send in whoever is going to hurt her so she can get on with her night. The warden confirms this with absolutely zero shame. And when Caitlyn opens Vi's cell, Vi is rolling her shoulders out like she is getting ready to fight.

There is no record of her or her crimes - Marcus locked her up with no trial, no paper trail, no nothing. She would have been kept there forever. Routinely beaten and totally stripped of her identity. Gee, I wonder why she tattooed her name on her face. They tried to erase her from existence.

She isn't in solitary all the time, as she had access to the tattooed goon she keeps wrecking throughout the show- I'd say this is probably the only reason she is at least slightly functional and still able to socialize in the real world to some degree.

A Layman's Understanding Of The Impact On Her:

First and foremost lets dispense with the obvious. I am not a mental health professional of any kind. But as an adult with a basic understanding of people I feel confidant saying that seven years in a violent prison being victimized and assaulted are what leads to the guarded young woman who has turned her body into a weapon that Caitlyn Kiramman meets that day. Cut off from any kindness, or love, or understanding Vi has hardened herself to the outside world because the last time she tried to do otherwise, her entire life was taken from her. And I am not going for the pity points or for dramatics. But she was fifteen... I'm going to guess something akin to her crying for someone to help her, or for her sister and than being viciously beaten is not outside of the realm of possibility. Her entire life has taught her over and over that the only thing she has to offer is her ability to do violence. An article from the University Of Santa Cruz a few years ago gives us more trustworthy information than my blathering:

"many prisoners "believe that unless an inmate can convincingly project an image that conveys the potential for violence, he is likely to be dominated and exploited throughout the duration of his sentence."

"prisoners may come to think of themselves as "the kind of person" who deserves only the degradation and stigma to which they have been subjected while incarcerated."

"For some prisoners, incarceration is so stark and psychologically painful that it represents a form of traumatic stress severe enough to produce post-traumatic stress reactions once released."

The need to keep up walls and hide their vulnerability, the hidden inner belief they are not worth any better, and deep seated trauma even manifesting as PTSD. Sound familiar? Not to mention the fact that is all started for her when she was fifteen and in the wake of a terrible loss.

I have seen many people lambasting Vi over her inability to cope with change or see that her sister has changed. Let me ask you folks a question. You see your entire family die in front of you, you are almost killed, you get thrown in a horrific and violent prison for no reason holding on to the hope of your last surviving family member, and then you get out and the sweet little girl you were ripped away from is a MURDERING. MENTALLY ILL. TERRORIST (Don't yell at me Jinx fans I'm just proving a point). How well do you think your going to cope?

This is just a drop in the bucket and absolutely a layman trying to learn a-little about how something so terrible would impact someone's emotional and mental health. But it was worth exploring. Like the grouchy broken record I am I have continued to proselytize to all of you regarding the humanity at the core of Arcane being its true heart. So the misunderstanding of perhaps the most human character in the show, someone who wants so badly to love, be loved, and to stand for those she cares for, well... Suffice it to say, I will keep playing this song for as long as I need to.

As always thank you for reading! Keep standing up for stories that matter. See ya next time.

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: What happens when two best friends try to get along under the same roof? You've been living with Jungkook for three months now, but your cohabitation is still a challenge for you. He continues to live like a real bachelor without following the rules you agreed upon from the beginning of your decision to live together. Should you find a compromise or should you find a new place to live?

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ Number of part: 16/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻From the author: Hello everyone. This part turned out to be so long, I hope you enjoy reading it. Please leave your feedback, it's so important for me to know 🥹🙏🏻 I don't know if I'll have time to write something else before the end of the year, but if anything, there will be a continuation in the new year for sure. Thank you all so much for loving my story 😭 Enjoy ❤️‍🔥💜💜

⊹ 🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj , @lovelyyylunaa222 (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 16. Read my love.

A cup of tea cooling on the table is the only thing you can look at. You feel Jungkook's eyes on you all the time. You are nervous. Your palms are sweaty and cold. You hear your mom bombarding Jungkook with compliments and questions. She doesn't notice that you still haven't said anything to Jungkook other than a brief 'hello'.

Jungkook shyly answers all the questions. He's also happy to see omony Hyewon. But the main reason he's here is because of you, so he keeps looking at you. He sees how you avoid his gaze. He's looking at you when omonny Hyewon is distracted by a phone call from your father. She apologizes and moves away from the couch where you are sitting.

You feel even more tense. You look up. Jungkook is smiling at you and it's not an apologetic smile. It's his typical Jungkook smile, playful and provocative. You feel your cheeks flush red. Jungkook makes you feel uncomfortable. He have the confidence after all he's done to come to your house, sit and look at you with such a smile?

"How are you, baby?" - He finally breaks the silence between you. You bite your lip and lower your eyes, returning them to your cup of tea. Jungkook is attracted to this gesture and wants to touch his favorite lips.

"Fine." - You say and finally take a sip of tea to hide your embarrassment. It seems too obvious because your hands are shaking.

"I missed you." - Jungkook suddenly says. You can hear his hushed voice, filled with sadness and tenderness. His words penetrate your heart like a warm ray on a cold day. Your breathing becomes heavier, and your heart begins to pound furiously in your chest, almost painfully. The feeling is like hundreds of butterflies rising in your stomach.

Again, he was making you feel this way. You feel warm in your chest, but at the same time two parts of you are fighting: one part wants to push him away because it knows his world is too complicated and dangerous, and the other part wants to throw itself into his arms and stay there forever.

You lifted your eyes. You missed him too. You've missed him more than ever, but now it feels like he's off limits to you. It feels like you will never be able to be with him again. You don't know why, but instead of telling him that you missed him too, you ask him something else.

"Why did you come here?" - Your voice sounds cold. You fidget nervously on the couch. You don't want to be so cold, but you can't seem to do it any other way.

"I came to see you." - Jungkook answers as if it were obvious. "Also, it's okay to explain everything to you." - You hide your face behind your cup of tea again. You don't say anything because your mom approaches you. She smiles broadly, but when she sees that you are silent and you don't even look at Jungkook, she realizes that something is wrong.

"You're not talking much. It seems like you had a fight." - Your mom speculated.

"Yes, we did omony." - Jungkook admits. He's been calling your mom "omony" since he was a kid. She was his second mom because Jungkook spent a lot of time at your house. When you were kids, your mom was your babysitter. Jungkook's parents were busy at work, so Jungkook was with you every day until almost high school. In high school, he started coming only to visit. But he still has the habit of calling your mom "omony". "Y/N is offended by me." - You look at him. Why is he saying this to your mom?

"Daughter, what's wrong? Why are you mad at Jungkook?" - Mom asked with concern. You silently look at Jungkook with an annoyed look. He told you to come up with an answer. "I noticed right away that you didn't hug your best friend."

"It's because of my job. We celebrated Christmas together, you know. I had to leave Y/N on Christmas Eve." - Jungkook lies. Your eyebrows fly up. What a lie! The to mention the mafia and his kiss with ex, forgot?

"Honey, he probably couldn't do it any other way. Why are you so offended? But Jungkook-ah, boy, you should get more rest. Your mom recently complained to me that she rarely sees you. She must have been so happy that you came." - Your mom said. Jungkook smiled with a shadow of guilt.

"Actually, I haven't been home yet. I came straight to your place after arriving in Suwon." - You're shocked. He didn't even stop by his parents, whom he hadn't seen in almost a year? Was he that eager to see you?

"Son, the first thing you should’ve do is go to your parents. They are so missed." - Your mom gasps.

"I'll go right after I talk to Y/N. I still haven't give her a Christmas present yet." - Jungkook says in his defense. Your mom smiles slightly with curiosity.

"Then I think you two need to talk." - Your mom stands up and picks up the cups of tea. Jungkook smiles gratefully. "I want Eunok to see you as soon as possible. But wouldn't you like to stay for dinner? I'm did pickled crabs. It was your favorite dish I used to cook for you." - Your mother offers gently. You want to protest. Jungkook doesn't have to stay for dinner to eat your mom's pickled crabs. She can give him some to go. Jungkook answers before you do.

"Omony, really? You did pickled crabs? I'm so happy! I’m in time came to visit you." - Jungkook is overjoyed. "I am very happy to stay. I'm here for a few days, so my mom will have time to spend time with me." - Your mom is happy too. She is already excited to start cooking dinner.

"Mom, I promised you I would help you make dinner...." - You get up from the couch and walk towards your mom. She gently stops you.

"Honey, you need to talk to Jungkook. I'll start cooking by myself. When you're done, you can join me." - Your mom says and leaves you two alone.

You look after your mom, who has already gone to the kitchen. You hear Jungkook coming up behind you. He doesn't approaches to closer. You would like him to do this, but he respects your space.

"Can we go to your room? I don't think we can talk properly here." - Jungkook suggests. You think it's a good idea. Without answering, you walk towards the stairs.

"Mom, we'll be in my room." - You warn your mom and hear her shout "okay".

You enter the room first, leaving the door open for Jungkook to follow. Once inside, he closes the door behind him. He stands at the door looking at your room.

It hasn't changed and looks exactly the same as the last time he saw it. A small bed in the middle of the room. A bedside table next to it and your desk. The shelves around the desk are filled with sports books, comics, and sports awards. Several of them belong to Jungkook. He gave you cups, secretly dedicate these victories to you. Apart from his mom, you were his most ardent fan. To the right of the door is a wardrobe and large mirror in height. At window are delicate cream curtains. The room is cozy and you'd never say that a girl lived here.

There is a laptop on the bed, which you are already putting on the table. Jungkook walks over to your bed and sits down. You look at your friend carefully while remaining near table.

"Want to sit next to me?" - Jungkook asks, patting the bed next to him. He wants you to come closer.

"I'll stand. I've been lying on the bed all day." - You say calmly. Jungkook shakes his head and looks around your room in silence. You wait for him to speak. A light laugh leaves his lips.

"When we were at school, I used to come to this place so often. I feel like this is my room. The smell reminds me of those days." - Jungkook says. Your heart aches, that time was the best time of your life. Jungkook was there with all the time and was not involved in crime. Only sports, friendship, and precious memories. "Do you remember the time you hid me drunk from your parents? That morning I was running away through the window. Gosh, my mom gave me such a beating for not spending the night at home."

You remember that incident very well. Something happened between you that night that Jungkook doesn't remember because of the amount of alcohol he drank. It seems like that night you realized that you liked him.

𓏧𓏧𓏧Flashback𓏧𓏧𓏧

Jungkook got drunk at a party the night before his graduation. You remember when a classmate of his called you and asked you to take Jungkook out of the house drunk because he was almost unconscious. It was around 2 a.m. You were reading comics and so you were awake. You sneaked out of the house and followed Jungkook.

At first, the plan was to take him home. But Jungkook turned out to be having, he could barely stand on his feet, and your house was closer to yours, so you decided to take him to yours. You had to take him quietly to your room so that your parents wouldn't wake up, and then send him home in the morning.

You remember texting Doohoon, hoping that he would answer and come to the rescue to take Jungkook home, but he didn't answer. You knew they were supposed to be together. Did Doohoon leave early because he had something to do?

Jungkook clung tightly to your body. It was spring, but the night was cold. But your friend was wearing only a T-shirt, a warm sweatshirt with a zipper, and cargo pants.

His body heat kept you warm. But the longer you walked, you sweated as you struggled to pull your muscular friend. He was bigger and taller than you. Your hardened body tired quickly because Jungkook was relaxed and leaning on you.

His arm was around your neck. His palm was at a dangerous distance from your chest. You took his hand so that he wouldn't accidentally touch them. He leaned his head against the crook of your neck. His hot breath burned the skin of your neck. Jungkook smelled of alcohol and perfume.

It wasn't far to your home, but the distance seemed too long. You stopped to catch your breath. Just a couple of minutes to regain your strength and cover the last meters to your house. When you stopped, you felt Jungkook move his head, which was resting on your shoulder. He buried his head in your hair and touched your warm skin with his nose. You instantly got goosebumps.

"Baby, you smell so good." - Jungkook murmured into your neck. You froze. He had never been this close before. You panicked.

"Shut up, Jeon. I swear I'm going to kill you first thing in the morning." - You snapped, desperately ignoring the way Jungkook's nose was touching your neck. He suddenly deviated and stood in front of you, hugging you. He was holding onto your waist and so wobbling. You looked at your friend angrily with raised eyebrows.

Jungkook looked at you with drunken, half-open eyes that glittered. He looked at your face from the height of his height for a few seconds, and then awkwardly put his hand on your jaw. He grabbed you a little painfully, squeezing your hair. You clicked your tongue nervously.

"Damn it, what are you doing?" - You said, unhappy.

"What do they see in you?" - He suddenly says. You're confused, you don't understand what he's talking about. "Let's see: nice eyes, small face, and plump lips." - He says, describing your face. He touches your lips with his finger. Your heart is beating like crazy. You look at your friend and feel embarrassed. Jungkook looks up at your hair and examines it. "Your hair is an interesting color, maybe that's why they find you attractive?" - He asks no one in particular. You don't understand who he's talking about.

"Who are you talking about? And why did you decide that now is the time to discuss my appearance? Let's go home, it's hard for me to hold you!" - You protested, throwing his hands off your face. But the thought of someone liking you made you happy. His arms fell around your waist and with a quick movement, he pushed you against his body. A soft cry escaped your throat. Jungkook was so close that you forgot how to breathe. He was looking at your lips, and you were dizzy. You were screaming in your head, what was happening?

"Do you think they can take you away from me? I don't think so. You're my friend and they won't touch you with their fucking fingers." - You could smell the alcohol as Jungkook spoke almost to your lips. You listened dumbfounded to what he was saying. Something inexplicable clogged your chest. Emotions you had never felt before. A little excitement mixed with admiration. What is he saying? He has no right to speak so possessively. If someone likes you, he shouldn't get in the way.

"Jungkook, don't be silly!" - You say, trying to distance yourself from your friend. You shouldn't be standing in the middle of the road at 2 in the morning like that. Jungkook squeezed you tighter, not letting you move away at all. You expected him to be much stronger than you. You thought that if he didn't let go, you would be forced to hit him.

"Would you like to kiss me?" - Jungkook suddenly asks. He caught you off guard once again. Your eyes got big and you forgot to breathe again. You asked yourself if you really wanted to do this. You were afraid that, looking at your best friend now, you did want it. He was so handsome, even though he had been drinking. His lips were a magnet. But he's your friend! It's Jungkook! He's probably just messing with you. You recovered and covered his face with your hand, pulling him away.

"Jeon, I'm going to kick you in your bells. You're crazy! I would never want to kiss you. You're my friend. Oh no you're just an asshole I'm friends with." - You said rudely, holding his face with your hand. He laughed into your hand. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears. Why does this idiot have to come out on you like this?

Jungkook loosened his grip on your waist and you instantly pulled away from him.

"Gosh, I think I'm going to throw up." - Jungkook said in a tortured voice when you let go of him. You were scared. Jungkook swayed and went to the bushes and you heard him vomit. You almost threw up yourself. You waited for him to finish.

Jungkook straightened up and turned to you. He smiled and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. You grimaced. God, why did this happen with you?

Walking into the house with Jungkook, who was drunk wasted, was a challenge. He was unsteady on his feet and telling loud. You took him to your room and sat him down on the bed. You locked the door and turned to Jungkook. His eyes were almost closed. But he had a stupid smile on his face. You walked over to him in frustration and kicked him. He cried out.

"For what?" - He hissed, folding in half and rubbing his leg where you kicked him.

"For being a pain in the ass." - You said harshly. You had to do it because he had given you so much trouble.

"I haven't been in your ass yet." - Your friend says, and you gasp at the insinuation.

"Shut your dirty mouth, idiot!" - You growl. "Take off your shirt, I'm going to wash it." - Jungkook straightens up and slowly tries to take it off. But he fails. Losing patience, you come over and help him take off his shirt. You try not to look at Jungkook, who is just staring at you. After taking off his shirt, you throw it over your arm.

"Come with me to the bathroom. I'll give you a toothbrush and toothpaste, brush your teeth and wash your bad mouth. If I hear a single squeak from you, I'll drown you in the tub." - You threaten. Jungkook barely gets out of bed and laughs cheekily.

"Will you help me take a shower?" - He asks leaning on you again.

"Do you want to die?" - You are angry, but Jungkook just laughs.

You make your way to the bathroom as quietly as you can. You pushed Jungkook and close the door. You lead him to the sink and hand him a new toothbrush and toothpaste. While he brushes his teeth, you throw his sweatshirt into the washing machine and set it on the fast cycle. It should be washed in 15 minutes.

Jungkook brushed his teeth while trying to stand on his feet. When he was done, he took off his T-shirt. When you saw this, you gave a soft yelp of surprise. Jungkook smiled slyly.

"I'm going to take a shower." - He said loudly, as it seemed to you. At that moment, you heard footsteps in the hallway and your heart sank. You ran to Jungkook and put your hand over his mouth. You turned on the water and told him to be quiet. You stood there for who knows how long. You turned off the water to hear if the footsteps had stopped. There seemed to be silence. Suddenly there was a light knock on the door.

"Daughter, why are you in the bathroom at this hour?" - You heard your mother's voice through the door. Your blood ran cold in your veins. Holly shit, if she found out that Jungkook was standing there shirtless and drunk in your bathroom at almost 3 a.m., you would be in trouble. Jungkook didn't seem to care. He didn't react in any way.

"Oh, mom..." - You say loudly. "I was reading comics. I forgot to take a bath. I'll take a quick wash and go to bed." - You lied.

"Okay, but don't stay up so late anymore. You'll look like a ghost during the day." - Your mother complained. "Good night." - She said.

"Good night, mom." - You answered and heard her leave. After a while you heard her go into the bedroom. You let go of Jungkook and walked away from him.

"Hurry up." - You order him. Jungkook takes off his pants and you turn away. How did you even get into a situation like this? "Wait, what are you going to sleep in?" - You suddenly thought. He's not going to sleep on the floor in his boxers, is he? Should you give him your robe? Will he fit in it?

"I can sleep naked." - Jungkook says. You forget that he is naked and turn to him. His almost naked body makes you blush. Because even for the split second you saw his body, you noticed how beautiful it was. You turn away from him.

"You're not sleeping naked in my room, Jeon." - You were angry. "Come on, get cleaned up quickly. I'll get you daddy's clothes."

Jungkook couldn't wash quickly enough. You waited for him for what seemed like forever. You were nervous. Mom might come back again because you were here too long. Jungkook was washing behind the curtain and you were embarrassed that he was naked. You had to make an effort not to think about him like that.

Less than an hour later, you ended up in your room. Fortunately, no one caught you. You left the room again to find your father's clothes to dress Jungkook. His shirt was fortunately washed and you took it to your room to dry.

You gave Jungkook Daddy's shirt and shorts. They fit your friend almost perfectly. At 18 years old, he was the same size as your dad. When Jungkook got changed, he climbed on your bed and made himself comfortable while you found the perfect spot for him on the floor. When you saw him lying on your bed, you were outraged. You walked over to him and pushed your friend to the side.

"Hey, you're not sleeping here!" - You said. Jungkook looked at you in surprise, as if he had just noticed you were in the room.

"Do you really think I'm going to sleep on the floor? No way." - Jungkook said and turned away from you. You started to get mad. What kind of asshole is he? You brought him to your house, drunk, provided everything for his comfort, put your blankets on the floor, and he's so insolent!

"Listen, Jungkook, you're not going to sleep in my bed. You better get on the floor or I'll throw you off!" - You threatened. But in a moment you were on the bed. Jungkook grabbed you by the waist and threw you over in one deft movement. You stared at your friend hovering over you in fright. He smiled slyly when he saw you frozen in terror.

"It's no problem if we sleep together on the bed." - Jungkook said still smiling.

"No. We won't!" - You protested.

"I'll sleep here. But if you don't want to sleep next to me, then go to the floor by yourself." - Jungkook said still hovering over you. You blushed. For the second time today, Jungkook was too close to you.

"This is my room and I decide who sleeps where." - You said without giving up. Your friend stared at you for a moment, and then you saw him start to approach. You closed your eyes, afraid of what might happen.

"Make me lie down somewhere else, baby." - Jungkook whispered in your ear. You felt his hot breath leave a mark on your ear. Your heart beat faster. Was this a glitch in the matrix or another reality? How did you end up in this situation with your friend? He always liked to tease you, but like this? What are you supposed to do? Lie still? Or throw him to the floor? You almost choke when he kisses you on the neck. You instantly feel everything inside you shrink. A pleasant sensation is felt in your lower abdomen. You're excited to the max.

"Jungkook!" - You call out, trying to push him away. You try not to think about how much you like it. Jungkook holds you close, leaving you with almost weightless kisses. You start to panic. You can't do this because Jungkook is drunk. You imagine when he wakes up in the morning and sees you next to him. He'll be upset that it's you and not some hottie. And it will also ruin your friendship. Jungkook almost reaches your lips and you put your hand out and he kisses your palm. When he realizes that it's not your lips, he looks at you dumbfounded.

"What are you doing?" - He asks.

"And what are you doing?" - You ask back. Your eyes are frightened.

"I'm trying to kiss you." - Jungkook replies. Your lips are still covered by your hand.

"I'm trying to stop you from kissing me." - You replies too. Jungkook raises his eyebrows.

"Are you serious?" - He asks you in disbelief that you're refusing. "Every girl in town wants to kiss me. Don't you want to?" - You can hear the sincere surprise in his voice.

"Come down to earth, Jeon. Not all the girls want to kiss you." - You say irritated. "First of all, I'm not all of them, and I'm your friend, you dumbass. And secondly, you're drunk, how are you going to look me in the eye in the morning?" - Jungkook touches the inside of his cheek with his tongue and finally lets go of you. He falls onto your pillow and closes his eyes. You think you'd better get out of bed.

You run away and lie down on the blanket you made for Jungkook. You will have to sleep on the floor. You lay down straight and froze as if in anticipation. Did Jungkook really want to kiss you? Oh my God, he kissed your neck. You couldn't believe that this had happened between you.

You laid on the floor, not moving, listening to his breathing and your heartbeat. You lay there for a while and heard Jungkook snoring.

In the morning you were woken up by a knock on the door. You woke up too suddenly.

"Wake up, daughter!" - You heard your father's voice. At that moment you thought you were going to die. The doorknob was coming down. Dad was trying to get into the room. Did didn’t remember if you to close the door yesterday when you came with your father's things for Jungkook? You jumped up from the floor, taking blanket and ran to the bed. It was just a matter of seconds. You throw the blanket you were sleeping on at Jungkook and fly under the covers, almost falling on top of your friend. He wakes up but can't understand what's happening. You cover him with two blankets. The door opens and your dad looks through the door. Shit, you didn't close the door.

"Flower, are you waking up? It's almost 12 o'clock. Mommy is worried you missed breakfast." - Your father says gently. And you just think that if Jungkook moves, or your father comes into the room and walks over to your bed, you're dead.

"Oh yeah, daddy. Just give me 15 minutes to get cleaned up." - You say, pretending to be asleep. You feel Jungkook under the covers, leaning his head against your side. God, he better not move or you'll kill that asshole if your father catches you both.

"Okay." - Your dad says, and wants to leave. But after a moment, he turns his head back. "Were you cold to sleep?" - He asks looking at the two blankets on your bed. They look bulky and this provides the perfect opportunity to hide Jungkook under them.

"Yes." - You say quickly. "It's so cold tonight I decided to sleep under two blankets." - You lie. You hear Jungkook laughing in your direction. You can already imagine yourself strangling him.

"But the temperature was above freezing this night." - Your father says. That's right, it's May. You freeze.

"But you know me, Daddy ! I'm always cold." - You make up an excuse on the fly and mentally beg your father to leave.

"You are?" - He asks. You are nervous again.

"Yes, dad! I'll be there in 15 minutes, give me time to get ready for lunch." - You say, a little irritated. Your dad apologizes and walks away. You immediately run to the door and lock it. You lean your head against the door and breathe a sigh of relief.

Jungkook crawled out from under the covers. His hair stuck out in all directions. His eyes and lips were slightly puffy. He smiled at you cheerfully. You stared at your friend in awe. He looked so attractive in the morning and his appearance made you forget how angry you were with him.

"I thought I was done for." - He said with a laugh. "If your father found me in your bed, I'd be dead, wouldn't I?" - You step away from the door and grab the pillow you were sleeping on. It flies at Jungkook. He covers himself with his hands.

"Jeon, get out of my room! Otherwise, I will be your death!" - You screamed, but quietly so your parents wouldn't hear you. You were so angry, he had caused you so much trouble.

He crawled out of bed to get away from you.

"How can I go? Your parents are downstairs." - Jungkook complained.

"I don't care. Teleport out. Climb out the window. Anything, but get out now." - You shouted finally, throwing a pillow at him. Jungkook skillfully caught it. You sat down on the bed and breathed heavily. God, you were so stressed. Jungkook carefully walked over to the bed and put the pillow down. You glared at him angrily, and he flinched, afraid of your gaze.

"I need to change my clothes." - He said carefully. You got up and went to get his things. They flew at Jungkook just like your pillow. He grabbed them and smiled.

You went to the closet and pulled out your terrycloth robe. Wrapping yourself in it, you watched Jungkook get dressed. You didn't admire his perfect body, just pierced him with an angry look. He did it quickly. Jungkook tried to style his hair, which was sticking out in different directions.

"How did I end up here?" - He suddenly asks. Your eyebrows fly up. Does he not remember anything?

"What do you mean?" - You snap back. "I brought you here because you were drunk. Don't you remember?"

"No. My head is so pounding." - Jungkook scrunches his face in pain, putting his hand to his head. "The last thing I remember is losing a bet and drinking a glass soju and after followed by a glass of beer." - You stared at Jungkook. What a rare douchebag!

"I knew you were out of your mind, but by how much..." - You complain. Jungkook is indignant.

"Oh, come on. It was a party. Everyone drinks there, you know..." - He says as if it's a good argument. You shake your head in disapproval, and walk over to him, pushing him toward the window to get out. Jungkook doesn't resist. It's a good thing he's climbed through your window many times and knows how to get down safely. He freezes at the window. You let him go.

"Baby. I at least not hit on you?" - Your friend is worried. You can see the anxiety in his eyes.

"What if you did, what will you do?" - You ask with excitement. You wonder how he'll get out of it, because he did hit on you. The memory of his lips on your neck makes you feel butterflies in your stomach.

"What do you mean? I couldn't be!" - Jungkook immediately denies. You raise your eyebrows. Of course he could! He did exactly that this night.

"Why couldn't you? Am I so ugly that you don't find me attractive even when you drunk?" - You say. Jungkook laughs, your sarcasm is his favorite thing.

"Yeah and you're not my type." - Jungkook replies, his voice serious. "I would never hit on you. Especially since you're my best friend. It's like picking on your sister." - You froze at his words. You're not his type? Of course I'm not. But what about that he say about your appearance? What a bustard!

"You're an idiot! You told me this night that I was beautiful and that many people liked me!" - You shouted nervously. But you kept silent about the fact that he said he wouldn't give you to anyone.

"Did I say that?" - Jungkook is genuinely surprised. "I guess I drank too much last night." - For these words, his side immediately suffers from your fist. Jungkook laughs and shuts his eyes.

"Get out of my sight, you jerk, and I don't want to see you for a week." - You say, shoving Jungkook out the window.

"How can you live without me for a week, baby? I'm your air breathe." - Jungkook teases you. You are almost trembling with anger.

"God knows I wanted to keep you alive, but your tongue is your enemy!" - You threaten and run to get the dumbbell that was lying in your room. When you get back to the window, Jungkook has already reached the ground and is running away with a cheerful smile. He waves goodbye, and you give him the middle finger.

You lie down on the bed face down and smell the subtle scent of Jungkook's perfume. You feel a tremor inside. What happened between you tonight has made you look at Jungkook differently. Now the mere sight of him makes you feel admiring and elated. What did he do with you?

𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧

This memory will remain in your mind forever. Because it was after that night that everything between you changed. Could you have imagined then that you would have sex with Jungkook? And that it would give you immense pleasure? Could you have imagined that you could feel some crashing or even fall in love with him and you wouldn't know what to do with it?

Jungkook smiles a sweet smile, probably remembering the morning you beat him. But you are hurt by the sight of him. Because he's not the Jungkook you knew anymore.

"You wanted to talk." - You remind your friend why you're in your room, and it's not because of happy memories from your youth.

"Yes." - Jungkook confirms and his cheerful, beautiful smile is gone. He runs his eyes over your face and finally says. "She did it on purpose. I didn't want to kiss her." - You look at Jungkook and hear your pulse pounding in your ears. So he decide to start with this?

"You didn't mean to, but you kissed." - You say.

"I didn't kiss her back. That hooker did it at Dohoon's request." - Jungkook says seriously.

"Meaning?" - You don't understand.

"That moron brought her to Japan specifically to distract me from you while he told you what I've become. He found out that we went to Japan to get the devices he stole, so he followed us. He's a fucking bone in my throat." - You realize that the trip to Japan was a cover for a job. You suspected it right away.

You ask Jungkook what the devices are, and he tells you.

Jungkook was supposed to guard the transportation of expensive medicines devices. Hoseok entrusted him with this job because he was so busy. But Doohoon, who had recently arrived in Korea, decided to remembering to Jungkook about himself.

He forged documents and substituted spoiled devices. Because of this, his company had problems with the customer. Jungkook said that he tried to resolve the issue so that Namjoon would not find out about the lost deal. Jungkook even mentioned the amount of the deal, which left you speechless. He said that Doohoon went straight to the hard methods. If Namjoon found out about the devices, your friend would be charged with another $50 million debt.

Jungkook also told how he got working on Namjoon. That the super fight was invented by Doohoon and offered Namjoon to make a lot of money on Jungkook. He say that he fought so often because they paid a lot of money for him, and that Doohoon only made a couple of appearances to make it look like he were fighting too.

In fact, Dohun lost a lot of money in casinos and betting in Namjoon’s club. A lot of money. And to pay off his debt, he brought Jungkook to Namjoon to make a lot of money. And everything was working until that idiot invited their classmate (who turned out to be the son of a policeman who hunted on Namjoon) to join them and fight in illegal fights. The policeman's son got all the important information. He even came with them to the club before the "super fight". That's how the police showed up that night.

Namjoon lost a lot of money and made Jungkook look bad. Doohoon did his best to make it happen. To save his own ass, he put the blame on Jungkook, saying that he told their classmate, even though he knew that he was the son of a policeman.

Jungkook said that he tried to escape from Namjoon three times. But the last time he was caught, Jungkook was severely beaten. They threatened that they would kill his parents and brother, and then finally kill him. He was told that either he brings all the money and is free (it was obvious that this option would not work, because Jungkook did not have that kind of money), or he works for Namjoon. He fulfills all his orders, working off his debt, and then he is free. Otherwise, if he doesn't agree to any of these conditions, his family and himself will suffer.

You listened to all this and just couldn't believe it. Doohoon is such a dickhead. Why did he do this to Jungkook? The three of you had such a great friendship. There had to be some reason for Doohoon to hate Jungkook so much, and it definitely wasn't simple envy. It had to be something significant, something that made your former friend go crazy.

Jungkook must have known the reason for this hatred. It was you. Right from the start. Because Doohoon had liked you since you started hanging out together, and Jungkook was greedy for you. Doohoon told Jungkook that he liked you, and then something clicked in Jungkook. He didn't want the two of you to start dating, which is probably why Jungkook started spending a lot of time with you then. He really hardly ever left you and Doohoon alone. Later on, when his classmate and the guys at the sports school started paying attention to you, Jungkook became jealous. But how could he confess to you? You were friends and you never fell for Jungkook's flirtations.

Later, when Doohoon started to show you a lot of attention, Jungkook got drunk and told his friend that he wanted to fuck you. He didn't say it on purpose, but he was just releasing his true desires under the influence of alcohol. That's when everything started to fall apart.

You started to cry, you imagined what Jungkook had to go through. And you were sure that these stories were the tip of the iceberg.

It hurt Jungkook to see you crying. He came to you and hugged you. You felt awe when his scent hit your nose. You leaned your cheek against his chest and cried hard. You realized that you had missed his closeness so much. Only in that embrace did you feel alive. Back at the hotel, when you saw him covered in blood, you were scared and afraid. But now, being in Jungkook's arms, you mentally scolded yourself. How could you think that he could hurt you?

You hugged him tightly, clutching his sweatshirt in your fists. Jungkook buried his head in your shoulder. He can finally touch you. To be close to you. When he arrived today and saw you looking at him standing by the stairs. He realized that he would never let you go again.

Jungkook picked you up and carried you to the bed. He sat down, putting you on his lap, listening patiently as you cried. When you had cried out all the regret that had accumulated inside you, you finally stopped crying.

"Are you okay, baby?" - Jungkook whispered. He was so close to your face that you could feel his breath on your cheek. He touched your cheek lightly with his lips.

"I’m terrible." - You admitted. Jungkook hummed.

"That's why I didn't tell you anything." - He complained softly. "I knew you'd cry. But I promised you I would only tell you the truth..." - He says, and your eyes fill with hot tears again. That's how he promised to tell the truth in day before the Christmas party. Jungkook wipes your tears away with his thumb as he looks at you. His heart is breaking, he doesn't want you to cry for him.

"Jungkook, you didn't kill anyone, did you?" - You suddenly ask, calming down a bit. This question was probably the one that worried you the most.

You met Jungkook's big eyes, which were darting between yours. It scared you that he hadn't said anything for so long. Could he have done something like that?

"No." - He finally said. You were relieved. "I didn't kill people. But the methods I use are not the most humane." - Jungkook admitted.

"What are your duties?" - You ask, even though you already know. Your Sunbaenim helped you find out. Jungkook hesitates. He doesn't think you should know.

"Baby, I don't want to tell you this. These are dangerous things. It's better if you don't know." - Your friend says. You sit on his lap and feel the warmth of his body. You feel so good around Jungkook. Maybe he's right. Besides you know something. Eliminating unnecessary people isn't necessarily murder, is it? You want to ask, but you can't expose yourself.

"Okay." - You agree quietly. "But what about everyone else? All your friends you introduced me to, they all work for Namjoon?"

"Yes. We all work for him." - Jungkook confirms.

"Do you trust them?" - You ask. Jungkook tries to understand what your question means.

"Yes, I trust them. Why do you ask?"

"They all know me. It scares me a little bit." - Jungkook stares at you.

"You don't have to be afraid of them, baby. I know these guys very well. They won't lay a finger on you because they know they're will dealing with me." - He sounded serious. You smiled. Everyone was afraid to deal with Jungkook since high school. But now it's a whole another level.

"What about Namjoon?" - You ask. Jungkook fixes the hair that's falling over your face.

"You are completely my responsibility. And if Namjoon tries to do anything to you, he'll have to deal with me, too." - You smile in pain. He is so confident. What you'd expect from Jungkook. You stare at each other and Jungkook breaks first.

He gently takes your neck and pulls you in for a kiss. When your lips touch, you are cold. His lips are so desirable. You return the kiss with insistence. Jungkook plunges his tongue into your mouth. You intertwine your tongue with his and deepen the kiss. Jungkook strokes your back as if to calm you down. He kisses you as if to say: "Here I am, and I won't leave you anymore."

Your eager kiss is interrupted by a knock on the door. You quickly jump off Jungkook's lap and run back to the window. Your mom appears in the doorway.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, daughter..." - Your mom apologizes. She sees that you are distracted. But you need to turn to your mother to know the reason for her coming. When you return, your mother sees your teary eyes, but she skillfully hides her embarrassment.

"It's okay, mom, we're done now. I'll help you with dinner..." - You are about to leave. Jungkook gets up to go with you, but your mom stops you both.

"I don't need any help. I have everything almost ready. I put the yukkejang on to cook, because it will be perfect for tonight's frosty evening. But I just got a call from Ajuma Jihee, asking me to help her finish the soybean paste. I gave her the recipe and I think she did something wrong." - Says your mom. "I'm just going to go out for 40 minutes, and when I come back, the yukkejang will be ready. Daughter, just stir it from time to time so that it cooks well. Dad will be back soon, so don't be sad." - Your mom left, closing the door.

You looked at Jungkook, who was standing behind you. You smiled weakly, you almost got caught. You're about to go downstairs to watch the soup when Jungkook grabs your arm. He pulls you toward him, his arms around your waist. You stare at your friend in awe.

"Forty whole minutes..." - He says, leaning down and capturing your lips. You mumble, resisting just a little, but otherwise giving in to his skillful lips. You move your lips against his and get a little nervous. What if mom comes in again? But when Jungkook kisses you and leads you to the bed, you realize what he meant earlier. You protest again by mooing into Jungkook's mouth. He stops when your feet hit the bed.

"Kook, we can't have sex in my room. Mom hasn't left yet, and Dad should be home soon..." - You warn him. In a moment, you find yourself on your back, pressed against the mattress by your friend. He smiles slyly and doesn't seem to care that your mom is somewhere nearby. You feel your heart beating against your chest. It's like an electric charge is running through your body. You forget about caution when Jungkook starts kissing you. He grabs your jaw with his hand, squeezing it a little harder, and shoves his tongue deep into your mouth. He kisses you so passionately that the heat rushes through you like lightning.

Your brain is working at high speed, and your body is freezing in anticipation. It's both impatience and sweet intrigue at the same time.

"Shall we finish what we started in this room?" - Jungkook asks as he pulls away from your lips, his hand already hidden under your sweater. He slides his hand under your bra and squeezes your breast. You hold back a moan, biting your lip.

"What do you mean?" - Instead of answering, you ask your own question, breathing heavily.

"What we started the night before my graduation." - Jungkook answers. You round your eyes in shock. Is he talking about the night he almost kissed you for the first time?

"You didn't remember anything the next morning!" - You remind him indignantly. Jungkook smiles seductively. He lifts up your orange warm sweatshirt, lowers your bra, and kisses your nipple. You feel Jungkook's wet tongue on your nipple and it makes you wet your underwear already. He grabbed your breast with his hand, squeezing it with a little force and sucking on the burgundy bud. He plays with the most sensitive part with his tongue and it makes you want to more.

"It's time to confess to you." - Jungkook says when he stops kissing your breasts. Your breathing is labored because of your excitement. You feel Jungkook pressing his half-erect cock against your pussy. It's not hard enough yet. But it won't be for long. "I was going to fuck you then." - He says with a sly smile on his lips, and you just can't believe it.

"What?" - You ask again. He couldn't want to fuck you when you were 17 years old.

"Yeah, baby, we could have been together a long time ago. But I still win, your virginity is mine." - He says and takes off your sweater. He also frees you from your bra with his skillful hands.

"Really? You've been dreaming of fucking me for so long?" - You ask with irony. Although you are just shocked that your friend has been trying to get you into bed for so long.

"Absolutely. But you were so scared at the time, you didn't even let me kiss you. I am one hundred percent sure that if you had let me kiss you, you would have become a woman that night." - Jungkook assures you. He kisses you eagerly, sliding his tongue into your mouth. You answer him with the same greed, as if you were living only for this moment. This kiss ignited a fire between you, your mutual need for each other was too obvious.

Your body silently begged for more, and more, and more as he moved from your lips to your neck. He kissed millimeter by millimeter, as if he were trying to cover every part of your tender skin. You moaned softly, which fueled Jungkook's arousal. He rubbed his cock against you, which became harder with each movement. He wants to fuck you, so you should hurry up while you're the only two at home.

Jungkook pulls himself off your neck and hangs over you. Your faces are separated by a quality of centimeters. You open your eyes and see Jungkook's seductive smile. Your cheeks burn from your closeness.

"Do you want me to fuck you now, or shall we have dinner and I'll take you to the park and fuck you in the car?" - Jungkook gives you a choice. The fact that he's going to fuck you tonight is not even up for discussion. You can only choose the place.

You feel his cock presses into your pussy. Your underwear is soaked with moisture. And you like the position you're in. You can wait for the evening. It's risky to have sex in your room, knowing that your parents could come back at any time. But somehow this makes you even more needy.

"Can you wait after dinner time?" - You ask Jungkook to get his opinion. You don't want him to think that you want him that badly. So you ask him if he can wait.

"Fuck, no. I want to fuck you right now." - You smile at the note of intolerance in his voice.

"Then we better hurry, darling." - You say, agreeing.

"I don't want to hurry. I want to enjoy you." - Jungkook confesses.

"But we really don't have much time." - You say with desperation. Jungkook smiles at you and gets out of bed. You notice his hard cock resting against his fly. You lift up on your elbows to follow his actions and see Jungkook walk to the door and lock it. On his way to you, he takes off his clothes, throwing them somewhere on the floor.

He comes to the bed and you admire his perfect body. His pumped-up chest and biceps move in time with his hands undoing the waistband of his pants. He looks too sexy. He looks at you with a lustful gaze. Jungkook takes off his pants while studying your face, his eyes moving down to your bare tits and finally settling on your crotch.

Jungkook doesn't like that you're still wearing your pants. He wraps his fingers around your ankle and pulls you to the edge of the bed with a sharp movement. A scream sticks in your throat. Jungkook slowly pulls off your pants. Only your underwear remains. After a moment, Jungkook grabs the edge of the cotton fabric and pulls it down. There is something so intimate about this action. That moment when he undresses you makes you feel adoration for him. You love it when he takes off your clothes with his own hands. You like it when he is in complete control of you. You want to worship him like a king who owns the whole world.

Jungkook sees your naked body and goes a little crazy. He doesn't understand why every time you have sex, his desire to have you grows stronger, and now he almost on the verge of obsession.

Jungkook spreads your legs and sighs in anticipation. He's finally going to taste your sweet pussy. And then he's going to fuck it so well that you'll remember it for a long time.

He gets down on his knees and places his face right in front of your wet cunt. He can hear you breathing heavily. Jungkook takes your ass with his hands to have the best angle. He kisses your inner thigh and you just tremble. His lips are beautiful on any part of your body. He kisses your thighs slowly, even though your wet cunt, which is in his field of vision, is terribly attractive to him.

You clutch the blanket in your hands. The pain in your lower abdomen is becoming unbearable, and you desperately need Jungkook's touch. Jungkook kisses your other thigh, moving closer to your most desired spot.

When his tongue finally touches your clit, an uncontrollable moan escapes your lips. Jungkook licks your clit three times with his tongue, pressing it pleasantly. Your legs tremble with pleasure.

"It's sweet." - He says directly into your cunt, and then bursts in with his lips. His tongue sucks on your clit and you just go crazy with pleasure. You moan loudly, trying to ease the sweet torture of Jungkook's tongue. Your back arches to relieve your condition. When he pushes his tongue into your passage, you go crazy. He pushes it in and out, and his finger caresses your clit. You can feel your orgasm coming.

"Kook..." - You whisper to warn him, but he doesn't let go. He fucks your hole with his tongue, while simultaneously tormenting you with his fingers. After a moment, he sticks his tongue out and presses his lips to your clit. He kisses you gently a few times and then sucks you as hard as he can. The blanket is clenched in your fists so tightly that your fingers go numb. A moment later, you come on Jungkook's tongue. A pleasant pleasure spreads through your body.

Jungkook pulls away from your cunt, his lips and chin glistening with your cum. Jungkook smiles. He gets to his feet. He can't get enough of your excited face.

You open your eyes and stare at Jungkook in awe. He really a king, or no, he is a Greek god created to give pleasure. Your lips stretch into a blissful smile.

"I don't think I can ever get enough of this sweet pussy." - Jungkook says as he takes off his boxers. His cock is excited. It jumps up, bumping against his thighs as your friend frees him from the captivity of his underwear. Semen drips from the tip, and you think you want to taste it and feel its salty flavor.

Jungkook holds out his hands to you, and you place your palm in his. He asks you to get out of bed. You get to your feet and they tremble slightly. The sensations from your orgasm are still present between your legs.

Your best friend, or should say lover, sits on the edge of the bed. He invites you to sit on top and ride his cock. You don't hesitate for a second to get on top.

When your bodies touch, you feel how hot Jungkook is. You sit on his lap, holding onto his back. He gently supports you by the waist. He puts two fingers in your passage to stretch you. You close your eyes against the pleasant sensation of his fingers in your middle, and you hear him smile. You seem to get even wetter as you wait for the grand prize.

"My good girl. So wet for me. That tight pussy will swallow my cock perfectly." - You moan and smile at Jungkook's praise. You open your eyes and see your friend's handsome face. His eyes shine with a devilish light, and his seductive smile makes you more excited than ever, even though there's no to where. He licks your lips, plunging his long, knotted fingers deep into you. "Come on, baby, have a good ride." - Jungkook urges you to sit on his cock.

You rise up on your knees, leaning on the bed and Jungkook puts the head of his cock against your entrance. You lower yourself carefully. He holds your ass, squeezing your meat. When you're completely down on Jungkook's cock, you both let out a moan of pleasure.

Your gaze falls to Jungkook's lips and you just drink in them greedily. You kiss Jungkook with your tongue. He laughs into your lips. He is delighted that you are kissing him so passionately. You've finally shown him how much you need him.

You start to move on his lap. Jungkook fills you to the brim with his cock. He hits you deeply every time you jump on top to create the right friction. Jungkook is fucking you so perfectly. You moan. Your breasts bounce in time with your movements. Why does it feel so good? Why so passionate? You close your eyes and surrender completely to your needs.

"Fuck!" - Jungkook swears. "Your pussy is the tightest in the world. I just want to fuck it forever." - You scratch the skin on Jungkook's shoulders. You want to be fucked only by Jungkook, too. He squeezes your buttocks to help you move. The sound of your bodies slamming into each other fills the space around you. Your head spins around.

Jungkook wraps his arms around you. He thinks you're so small in his arms. He drives his cock into you sharply and deeply, enjoying the friction of your sensitive parts.

Suddenly he stands up, supporting your body with his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist. You try to figure out what he wants to do. Jungkook carries you to the wall. He leans you against it, and you can see your reflection in the mirror. You see his bare buttocks and your legs wrapped around his waist. He is fucking you, thrusting your swollen pussy.

You look at yourself in the mirror and can't get enough of the sight. You dip your nails into his hair and pull lightly. Jungkook pushes you down to the ground and gets out of you. His cock is glistening with your wetness. He kisses you, grabbing your cheeks again with one hand. His tongue is deep in your mouth. Your lips are swollen from the constant kissing.

"This mirror." - Jungkook says in a low voice that penetrates every cell in your body. "Every time I looked at it, I imagined myself fucking you in front of it." - You are shocked. Your friend is so depraved in his thoughts. Why would he want to fuck you in front of a mirror? "I finally have the opportunity." - Jungkook smiles.

He moves closer to your neck. His lips kiss your skin, giving you goosebumps. You feel your wetness dripping down your inner thighs. His kiss on your neck excites you to the limit.

"Jungkook..." - You call out to him. You want him to shove his cock back inside you and give you a good fuck. The thought of him doing it in front of the mirror is exciting.

"Yes, baby." - He responds to the call of his name.

"Take me." - You ask. You want Jungkook too much. You need him too much. Jungkook holds you close. You feel his strong body. His chest is pressed firmly against yours. His big hand squeezes your asshole, digging his nails into the skin. His erect cock is pressing against your pubes. It's so sexy between you.

Jungkook leads you to the mirror. He settles down behind you. Jungkook's cock presses against your ass. He kisses your neck and squeezes your breasts with his hands, massaging them. You moan. It feels good. You want more. You close your eyes and Jungkook looks at you in the mirror.

"Open your eyes and look straight ahead." - He orders you somewhat imperiously, while pushing your folds apart. His gentle, unhurried finger movements on your clit ignite your entire insides. You think today he is caressing you such many times, more than usual.

You listen to his orders. You look at yourself naked in the mirror and your excitement grows exponentially. "Now you can see what you look like when I fuck you. This is your best look." - He whispers in your ear.

He plunges his fingers into your passage, smears moisture over your folds. You breathe heavily. Light moans leave your mouth. Jungkook bends you over, and you grab the frame of the mirror that shows you in full view. Jungkook puts his cock against your hole. You feel Jungkook plunging into your passage. As he fills you with his thick cock, you cheer.

Jungkook looks at you through the mirror. Your face looks pained. Your eyebrows are drawn together, your mouth is slightly open and your eyes are closed. You must see what you look like when he gives you divine pleasure.

"I told you to open your eyes." - Jungkook leans down. His body presses against your back. He puts his hand on your throat and lifts you up. He bites your ear and growls. "Don't make me punish you." - You struggle to remember how to breathe. If it weren't for the fluid stroke of his cock, you wouldn't even do it.

Jungkook bends you back, releasing your throat. Now he can get better access to your cunt. He starts to move while fucking you. He holds your hips with his hands to better control the thrusts. Your moans and the sounds of your bodies intertwine in a perfect symphony.

You look at yourself in the mirror and see that you are not yourself. But your appearance in it makes you look depraved. You meet Jungkook's gaze in the mirror. Absolutely dark, focused only on you.

He slows down, driving his cock lazily and deeply into you. You want more friction.

"Kook... faster..." - You ask.

"Faster?" - Jungkook asks you again, continuing to thrust his cock ruthlessly into your vagina.

"Yes..." - You exhale.

"Do you want me to fuck you fast like a whore?" - He asks. You moan blissfully. You want to.

"Yes. Fuck me like a whore." - You ask. Jungkook stops and you hear his heavy breathing. He doesn't mind at all. But for some reason today, Jungkook doesn't want to rush. He wants to enjoy every moment with you.

But he knows that time is short. That’s why he'll try some other time. When you're in your apartment together and he makes you scream all night.

Jungkook picks up the pace. His cock works wonders. Sex with Jungkook is like a short-term nirvana. You moan from his fast hip movements. He pushes his cock into you to the maximum and freezes. Your orgasm is coming.

You look at yourself in the mirror and think that the picture can't get any better. It's like you're watching a fucking porno with Jungkook and yourself in the lead role. He's fucking your hole. One hand caresses your clit. Fuck, it feels so good.

"I'll... I'll come over, Kook." - You say between thrusts.

"No, baby. I'm not done with you." - Jungkook doesn't let you. He pulls out of you almost at the exact moment you're about to cum. You breathe heavily leaning against the mirror. You can feel your cunt burning. You are disappointed because you could have already felt the most desirable sensation, and Jungkook didn't finish the job.

Before you can properly recover, Jungkook wraps his big arm around your waist and leads you back to the bed. You look at his tattoos with a blurry gaze. He lays you down gently on the bed and climbs on top of you, but he doesn't go inside you right away. You breathe heavily in sync.

He looks at your face and can't get enough of it. During sex, you are the most beautiful person in the world. You drive him crazy. You excite his every cell. Jungkook kisses you, gently, almost lovingly. He pulls away when he has enjoyed your lips enough. He lifts up and turns you over onto your stomach. His hands are on your hips and he lifts your ass to enter you.

You are wet. Despite the fact that he ate you, you release so much moisture that your tight cunt swallows his cock with ease. He plunges into your passage and moans. You know you'll never get enough of this. You grab the sheet with your hand. Jungkook pounds you with his cock, finding your G-spot almost instantly. You can't hold back the screams that come out of your throat. Your mind is so blinded by the lust and pleasure of your friend's thick cock that you forget where you are. But you're home, in your room, and your parents should be home soon. You don’t care, you scream because it feels so damn good.

"Come on, baby, now come on my cock." - Jungkook orders you, feeling your walls begin to clench around his cock. His strokes are fast, deep, and almost ruthless. Your orgasm comes just as he asks you to. You lean your head against the mattress, feeling euphoric, high, ecstatic. Why the fuck is sex with Jungkook so good?

Jungkook is chasing his own orgasm. In just a few quick thrusts, he fills you with his hot cum. You feel Jungkook's cock twitching inside you, filling your passage to the brim.

He slowly stops moving. He stops when his cock softens. Jungkook pulls out of you and falls to the spot next to you. You both breathe as if you've been running a long marathon.

You feel a little cum spilling out of your passage. Your sheets are soiled and you'll have to change them.

Jungkook crawls over to you, kisses your lips, and when he pulls away, he smiles cheerfully.

"Did you like it?" - He asks you. "Because I loved it." - Jungkook confesses.

"It was fucking good." - You admit the same thing. Sex with Jungkook is exactly the kind of thing that gives you maximum physical pleasure. Jungkook pecking on your lips. "You came in me again." - You complain gently.

"I have emergency contraception in the car." - Jungkook reassures you. You smile ironically, raising your eyebrows.

"You knew what you were doing." - You say, hinting that he was going to come inside you from the beginning. Jungkook strokes your face with his hand.

"It's crazy, but I want my cum to fill you every time I fuck you. It's like I'm signing you by myself." - He emphasizes the last word and you feel excited. If you're his, he cannot to kiss his ex anymore.

"If you think I'm yours, then you're mine." - You say, lowering your voice. You sound so serious that Jungkook is surprised. He has never heard you sound so powerful. "If I ever see your ex again, or see you flirting with other people, you'll know what the fire inside me really is." - Jungkook laughs out loud and can't wait to kiss you.

"Your jealousy makes me hot." - Jungkook says as he pulls away from your lips.

"I find my jealousy annoying, so you better not test my nerves." - You say. "Let me go, I have to take a quick shower. I think the yukkejang is burnt. My mom will kill me." - You complain. Before you leave the room, you turn to Jungkook, who is lying completely naked on your bed, looking at you. "Move your ass, Jeon, and get me a pill, or you'll be a father in nine months." - You finally get out. Jungkook lies there like a stone. Your words about fatherhood seem to have hit him over the head.

For a moment, he imagined how beautiful you would be pregnant, carrying his child under your heart. But he quickly pushed those thoughts away. He can't think about that. Because you are already his Achilles' heel.

He is strictly forbidden to think about a normal life, a family, or a child while he is working for Namjoon. Jungkook doesn't know if he'll ever be able to plan for that. Being in a relationship with you is already a lot of pressure for him, because he is responsible for your life, which could be in danger at any moment.

He really fell in love with you because you are all he can think about lately. He can't admit it to you because he doesn't want you to get attached to him, but he wants you to be able to see his love. It has been present in his actions, in his behavior for a long time.

Jungkook tries to be reserved, but his heart betrays him in every little thing. His love is his silent presence, his desire to make your day better, even when he's fighting his own demons.

“Read my love." - He repeats in his mind every time he touches you with his eyes. He can't say it out loud, but he’ll show you. Again and again, until you realize that you are his only reason to breathe.

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[alicenpai]

🌟 ART SUMMARY 2024 🥂

this was a year where i didnt draw a lot, despite that, i tried to make every drawing count. thank you all for the support in 2024, here's to 2025 ! 🫶

⭐ [read more starts here]

i continued my goals from last year with regards to perfectionism. the tldr is that i strongly feel my perfectionism kept me away from completing as many drawings as i could, and i had to make an effort to just finish drawings no matter how lukewarm I felt about them. 2024 was a strange year, it came and went in the blink of an eye, even more than previous years! life has been stressful, so i've been trying to focus more on myself and taking time off drawing. ironic, although i think i succeeded in that above goal, i expected to get more drawings out of it, but ended up taking more time off drawing anyways. towards the end of the year, i started feeling more burnt out, and drawing became a slow and arduous process. i think part of the reason was because 2024 was my first year doing 5 events - 2 full weekend conventions (anime north and otakuthon), and 3 single day events (bamtori fall aapi market, toronto game expo, bamtori jinglebam market), when in the past 2 years i'd just opt to do 1-2 local cons. it was also my first time doing single day events, which were super chill! although you have to both set up and tear down on the same day, i felt more casual at those events, had more time to chat and look around. back to my point - despite being fun, doing so many events took its toll on me - especially during the colder months of the year, where i wasn't so used to going to events haha! usually i take fall as the time to rejuvenate and recover from summer events, but i couldn't really do that this year. i kept questioning myself, "does this drawing have appeal? will people buy this?" "is my art hireable?" and it's just not a healthy mindset to have. next year i'll try to draw more of what i enjoy and what's on my mind, instead of worrying too much if it's sellable! *feeling like the HAHA YES sickos meme* - 2025 art goals outlined below: - oc zine (aiming for a character guide with some test comics) - character interactions & poses! e.g. dancing, hugs - generally stuff that's more difficult to draw. my art is more illustrative, but sometimes i wished it was more engaging emotionally? like i want people to smile and cry with my characters... - illustrations that challenge me. when i say illusts that challenge me it's pretty abstract - do research and gather inspiration for every illust.. compositions that are difficult/complex and take a while to draft.. strong theme.. it's more for me to understand AHAHAHA. as the years go by you can see my art becoming more unified in theme and self indulgent... i want to keep going, i want to make art that is uniquely mine. less priority: - get used to sketching! truly miss how i used to fill up sketchbooks every year - sticker sheets (this is on the less priority list bc i will probably fulfill this goal regardless) - oc merch (happy with the stickers i made in the last 2 yrs, let's keep going!) - silly things! e.g. 4koma, silly doodles. comedy is an art, it IS a skill you can study and chip away at (e.g. comedians and comedy writers). make sure i take notes on really stand-out jokes i find funny & why

other various things to try and draw more of: - group pictures - animals - layouts and props. i find layouts and anything with hard surfaces difficult to draw, which is why i draw a lot of flowers and fabric LMAO. one thing i gotta do is start by either drawing characters holding props more (easy baby steps!) and/ or start drawing props around them and make my way towards harder things (e.g. practice drawing a character sitting, i'll start by drawing a simple chair, then a table, then objects on that table). this is also one of my weaknesses - draw the ground they're standing on if possible, e.g. characters standing on a grid - vehicles, if i can. i mostly draw stuff from fantasy series where cars don't exist LOL but i'll try...

[thequietkid-moonie]

I currently can't find the Honkai star rail character list but I noticed Silver wolf has been written for so how about prompt 🐭 Cheerful darling is full of life (sunshine darling) With Furina, Kuki shinobu and Silver wolf with Sunshine darling being the personality of Marin kitagawa~ the silly, naive and Cheerful part along with the love of anime and games~ and can't forget the clinginess and blinded by love part cause I love that about her. If you no longer write for Silver Wolf, then feel free to use any character you feel comfortable with instead.

Cheerful and naive darling is full of life

[ YANDERE HEADCANONS ] [ Furina, Kuki Shinobu, Silver Wolf ]

[ Genshin Impact ] [ Honkai Star Rail ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just write it for entretaiment

× This is inspired in Marin Kitawaga (from My Dress-Up Darling)

Hehe I love Marin too, she is so silly and cute <3

Thanks for making such lovely request! I enjoyed a lot writing this so i hope you enjoy reading it too!

Furina de Fontaine

Despite being excentric, pretty egocentric and talking too highly of herself Furina is actually really caring of her people, she always tries to look after the well-being of everyone in Fontaine and just wants the best for all of them, so getting to know you is not dificult and, honestly, your cheerful and energetic personality makes her fall in love almost imediatly

Furina has too much troubles to be sincere with anyone so she will try to know more about you before even gather the strenght to talk to you in person, even when she is the hydro archon herself she feels her legs shake for the nervous of the simple idea of being near you! Its just that you are everything she wants! Everything she has always have wanted! You are exactly why is she fighting so hard and carrying this insufferable condemnation!

Despite being a bit obvious for those who know her better how much she is interested on you Furina just insist for a long time that it isn't true, at the end it isn't until the poeple who cares for her set her up with you or you finally decide to approach her when she will finally met you on person, and after that she will never let you go!

You are everything Furina wants and need, she envy your cheerful and naive personality, it is so sincere and pure that make her heart tighten but at the same time it make her feel relief, it gives her a break from her role, your smile it is enough to cheer her entire day but at the same time it brings tears to her eyes, she feels like you are the way life itself is telling her that she is doing a good job because if she continue she will be able to protect such smile

Furina end up taking advantage of you and even of her title out of desesperation, once she knows you care for her and even go as far as trust her blindly she is keeping you at her side to never let go, she grows too dependant of you, of your smile and carefree personality, she needs of those silly conversations she has with you about anything and everything, she need your naive but cheerful way to live, she won't be able to continue even living if you leave her side so, as the hydro archon, she will do everything in her power to keep you at her side

Still, in her own desesperation Furina grows incredibly nervous about the way you see her, she wants you to be happy at her side more than anything so she will be doing everything in her power to show you that you can be happy with her, she honeslty would be in an incredibly anxious state and reach the point where it becomes too hard to keep the confident facade, but at the end is thanks to your own kindness and clingyness what will leave her to calm down enough to keep with her work

Once she finally manage to adapt her life to having you close all the time, always making sure to have time to you and to simply learn to enjoy living at your side Furina is visibly more happy, despite being dependant and becoming anxious if you aren't at her side the happiness your presence brings to her life is undeniable, so, at the end, Neuvillete ends up supporting your relationship and even doing what he can to help you two stay always together

Kuki Shinobu

Kuki is already used to having to deal with someone childish and cheerful, but with you is diferent, somehow whenever she is with you she is easily infuenced by your cheerful personality and your silly attitude, she won't really go around laughing loudly but she is smiling under her mask

Whenever she isn't with Itto or the rest of the gang she is with you, she never wanted to be pushy or invade your personal space but the moment you accepted her at your side Kuki herself grew quite clingy, it is unexpected from her but she can't help it, she feels like she have find a safe place in this word, somewhere she is not only free but also where she belongs (she doesn't exactly leave the gang but at least you never bring as much troubles as they do, besides all of them are incredibly supportive of your relasionship)

Kuki doesn't believe much in fate but she can't help but feel like you two being together is mean to be because of how well you two match each other, she absolutely loves how carefree and cheerful you can be, how you just are you without worring about other's reaction but not reaching the point of being mean to others, Kuki feels an incredibly big sense of responsability and protectiveness towards you, since you accepted her in your life and go as far as trust her blindly and even clinging to her side she just can't ignore it, she just feels like now she must take care of you

From one side Kuki is incredibly aware of herself and can notice that her feeling are growing to be a little bit too intense, and she is worried, but everytime she just sees your smile or heards how cheerful you always says her name, as if she was the person you have been waiting for all this time she just can't help but forget about her worries and simply let herself get carried away her love, specially if it is corresponded

Kuki's intention has never being to take advantage of your naive and optimistic personality, but since when she is at your side she simply follow her heart her possessiveness end up being mistaken for her as simply the sense of responsability, and since from the moment she have won your trust you simply follow her lead (specially by knowing how stronge and smart she is) it is so easy for Kuki to manipulate you on doing what she wants and stay at her side all the time, even so Kuki has never done it with malice and even regrets it whenever she actually notice that she has being taking advantage of the trust you have put on her

Kuki really wants to protect you, for her you are a true sunshine, an innocent and beautiful person, someone with a smile worthy of fighting for so she just grow more and more protective and possesive over you, she doesn't mind if Aragaki or the others hang out with you since she knows non of them will try anything weird with you since they know your relationship (but will not forgive them if they put you in danger), but anyone else aside form them are under the sharp and scary watch of Kuki whenever they do as much as just talk to you

Silver Wolf

It is pretty dificult to catch Silver Wolf's attention, as a hacker everything is like a simple game for her so when someone or something catches her attention it is because it is something incredibly interesting for her, and once has it in its sight there is no power in this universe that will make her look away

Silver Wolf's love and obsession for you grows slowly but it does at the same rythm as she finds out more and more about you, for her is like a really funny way to go throught the sea of information just to find everything about you, and, honeslty, at first she just thought you were kinda funny and silly for how cheerful and even naive you can be, it is quite the contrast from her since she is more lay back and just gets excited by video games

It take her a while to warm up to your extremely cheerful personality but after a while she will just take a liking to it, and she even would find it pretty hilarious when she compare the two of you since she is one of the most wanted criminals, but that won't really stop her from going directly towards you once she has enough information

Silver Wolf is pretty straight forward but at the same time has a really good plan, since she knows all about you she knows what to say and do for you to trust her and decide to follow her, besides, since she is a big fan of video games too so it isn't like she is lying to you. Silver Wolf tries to have patient with you but at the same time tries to make this plan as quick as posible just to take you with her already, it probably won't take her much time before she wins your trust and take you with her

Once Silver Wolf finally has you with her she doesn't plan to leave you ever again but she doesn't plan on making you miserable, she makes sure to make room for you at her place and always invite you to play all kind of things, she loves you so of course she wants you to be happy, besides your cheerful and energetic self brings a lot of joy and fun to Silver Wolf's life so of course she would motivate you to keep being yourself

It is actually quite unexpected but Silver Wolf to actually take time to heard your ranting about anything you like and take in consideration the things you want to do, if she can she will take you with her to another planets so you two can have some little adventures aside from the video games

Despite literally kidnapting you and taking advantage of the trust you have put on her, Silver Wolf pretty much become like a best friend for you, whenever she doesn't have to go on missions she spends her time with you, even when she is doing important things for the stellaron hunters or just for fun she keeps you at her side, giving the most vague explanation of what she is doing before changing the topic to distract you

Since Silver Wolf's love and obsession for you only grow more and more the more time you two spend together she will end up just growing incredibly possesive over you, her beloved darling is also her best friend so of course she would want to spend her whole time with you, without noticing your only company become her and the rest of the stellaron hunters, but aside from them you won't really be talking to anyone else or only the most indispensable (wich normally doesn't happen since she makes sure to have all that it is needed ready so you don't have to waste your time and energy on things that will bring your attention away from her)